"Of course, my dear fellow." He seemed dazed and strangely silent. He had one long last look at the map and departed muttering to himself: "A Belgian fleet off the Outer Hebrides! French troops in Nijni Novgorod!! A Montenegrin squadron menacing Mitylene!!!"
It is strange how strong the force of habit is. I went to the City as usual to-day. At lunch I met Collins, who told me he had it on very good authority that there was an Austrian fleet bombarding the forts along the Mersey and that a combined force of French and Russians had crossed the Dutch frontier from Arnheim and was advancing on Berlin.
I hurried home to record these new developments on my map, and was compelled, through shortage of flags, to displace the Servian fleet from the North Sea and Gladys's Belgian contingent from Monte Carlo.
Illustration: _German Bird._ "I SEE IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT EAGLES."
Illustration: _The Hohenzollern (megaphonically)._ "TAKE COURAGE, MY BRAVE GERMANS. YOUR KAISER IS PREPARED TO SACRIFICE A MILLION OF YOU."
"500,000 copies of 'With the Flag to Pretoria' were sold a few days after publication and thousands were disappointed."--_Advt._
_London Hawker (addressing obvious Teuton)._ "WEAR YER FLAG, SIR."
Because beneath grey Northern skies Some grey hulls heave and fall, The merchants sell their merchandise All just as usual; Our cargoes sail for man's content The same as yesterday, And war-risk's down to 2 per cent., The underwriters say.
The clerks they sit with page and pen And fill the desks a-row, Because outside of Cuxhaven There's them to make it so; We go to lunch, as natural, From one o'clock till two, Because outside of Kiel Canal There's those that let us do.
We check and add our pass-books up Or keep our weekly Boards Unhampered by the works of KRUPP And all the KAISER'S swords; At five o'clock we have our tea And catch our usual bus-- So thank the LORD for those at sea Who guard the likes of us.
THE COWARDLY CONSUMERS CO-OPERATIVE COMPANY.
The C.C.C.C. has been formed to provide for the wants of unpatriotic or panic-stricken persons in all parts of the country.
WE HAVE MADE COMPLETE ARRANGEMENTS FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.
A FULL DINNER-TABLE FOR YOU WHILE OTHERS STARVE.
HORS D'OEUVRES.--Ensure your _hors d'oeuvres_ by allowing us to turn your bath into a sardine tank. Your basement too should make an excellent oyster bed. We would flood it for you.