That she enjoyed these tokens of appreciation, this letter indicates.
214 COLUMBUS AVENUE, Saturday evening, December 28, 1889.
MY DEAR FRIEND,--I have just come in and read Mrs. S----’s letter, which I return. Her enthusiasm inspires me just as I like to be inspired. I felt in writing the book that I was just entering into my past life, and taking my friends with me. I did not feel that I was making a “literary effort,” but just taking a little journey backward.
I appreciate the readers who will simply go along with me, as Mrs. S---- does. I am glad to give myself to those who understand the gift, and I would like to find more in myself for them, if I could. It is just like taking hold of hands all round, these pleasant acknowledgments that come to me. It is _our_ life that we are enjoying together....
Mr. Brooks sent one of his short, characteristic notes, thanking her for “A New England Girlhood.”
233 CLARENDON STREET, BOSTON, December 9, 1889.
MY DEAR MISS LARCOM,--I have never been a Yankee girl, and yet I felt that I recognized every picture in what I read, and I have read it all.
To hear of the American First Class Book again was like a breeze out of my childhood!
And I hope all the girls are reading it, and catching the flavor of its healthy spirit.
At any rate, I thank you for it, and I am yours most sincerely,
The longing for a religious home asserted itself in Miss Larcom’s life, and the thought came to her that she was not testifying to her deep love for her Master, by withholding herself from active membership in some Church of Christ. In her diary, where she wrote with great freedom her inmost feelings, there are passages which indicate discontent with her negative position. She was being forced to a conclusion:--
“I must decide for myself whether the Church is a reality to me; whether, in the visible Church, working for it, and with it, I can be more useful than I should be, floating on still, trying to accommodate myself to circumstances, and to harmonize myself with the best in everything, without any special ties. Having lived outside the Church so long, I have a great longing for a closer sympathy and working together with others. But whether it can be with my old Congregational friends, I am not certain. It would be better to stay with them, identified with their name and work, if I can do it from my heart, but not if I am called upon to say anything that I do not believe.”