"I have no health; I like a comfortable place to sleep and good things to eat; I like a good class of entertainments and good books, and to buy magazines and send them to my friends in prison, and I like to help a man when he is just out of prison. Now, you ask me to forego all this; to work hard just to earn the barest living--for I could never earn big wages; you ask me to deny myself everything I care for just for the sake of a moral idea, when nobody in the world but you cares whether I go to the devil or not, and I don't really believe in either God or devil. Now, how many churchgoing men do you know who would give up a money-making business and accept the barest poverty and loneliness just for the sake of a moral idea?" And I wondered how many, indeed.
However, for all his arguments in defence of his way of life, when the time came to leave us better desires had taken root. My mother's taking his honesty for granted had its effect, and seemed to commit him to an effort in the right direction. We had fitted him out with respectable clothing and he had earned money to last several weeks. My mother gave him a letter of recommendation as gardener and he left us to seek employment in the parks of a large city.
But his appearance was against him and he had no luck in the first city where he applied; the time of the year, too, was unfavorable; and before his money had quite melted away he invested the remainder in a peddler's outfit of needles and other domestic requisites. These he sold among the wives of farmers, and in that way managed to keep body and soul together for a time. Frequent letters kept me informed of his whereabouts, though little was said of his hardships.
One morning George appeared at our door seeming more dulled and depressed than I had ever seen him. He stayed for an hour or more but was not very communicative. It was evident, however, that he had found the paths of honesty quite as hard as the way of the transgressor. As he was leaving he said:
"You may not believe me, but I walked all night in order to have this visit with you. I was off the railroad and couldn't otherwise make connections with this place in time to keep an appointment with a friend this evening; and I wanted to see you."