_NOT_ MASTER OF HIMSELF THOUGH CHINA FALL.
["The Emperor (of China) is still cursed with the violent temper of his adolescence, and "breaks things."--_"Times" Correspondent at Pekin._]
Oh! is this announcement plain truth? Or is it mere genial mockery? And _what_ does this choleric youth Of China thus break--is it crockery? It does seem unfitting, you know-- At least as we Westerners see things-- That the lord of Souchong and Pekoe Should be guilty of smashing up tea-things! Of course, if he had an idea Of breaking the Japanese bondage, Or breaking their hold on Korea,-- Well, youth is a fiery and fond age, And old age _might_ find an excuse For breaking the peace; but kind wishes Can hardly invent an excuse For breaking the plates and the dishes. He is youthful, like little AH SID, It would be very mean to malign a Mere boy; yet a true Chinese kid Should not start with the smashing of China!
Batrachians may doubt if King Stork or King Log Be the Frog-pond's most suitable lord and controller; But Grub Street's unfortunate _un_lauded frog Loathes the rule of the new King Log-Roller!
With "brain-fag" our swift, feverish age is rife, And death is oft the mere "fag-end" of life.
SOMETHING LIKE A "PACKED MEETING."--The meeting of the various Arctic Expeditions in the Polar Ice Pack.
[Illustration: "TO BE WELL SHAKEN BEFORE TAKEN!"]
DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Now that we are close upon the silly season, when it is most difficult to get interesting "copy" for the columns of the daily papers, may I be permitted to make a suggestion? No doubt you have seen an account of the examination of CASERIO SANTO by the President of the Court on the occasion of his trial. Could not the idea be naturalised in London by the Metropolitan Police Magistrates? I would not, of course, propose to apply the method in cases of a serious character, but used in what are known as "the night charges," the practice would become very interesting. To better explain my meaning. I will imagine that a prisoner who has been arrested on a charge of being "drunk and incapable" is standing in front of his worship.
_Magistrate_ (_with sarcasm_). You are sober now.
_Prisoner_ (_in the same tone_). As a judge.
_Magistrate_ (_indignantly_). Judges are always sober.