CAPTAIN OF RURAL CORPS (calling over the Roll): "George Hodge!" (No answer.) "George Hodge!--Where on earth's George Hodge?"
VOICE FROM THE RANKS: "Please, sir, he's turned Dissenter, and says fighting's wicked."]
As for the invasion scare, _Punch_ treated it contemptuously in the cartoons representing the French Emperor with a poodle at Calais facing the British Lion at Dover, and the French Eagle drowning in mid-Channel. These cartoons, by the way, and _Punch's_ support of the volunteer movement in general, led the pacificist _Star_ to declare that "_Punch_ is a disgrace to the country in which it is tolerated." But _Punch_ was not a panic-monger. While he vigorously upheld Lord Lyndhurst's plea for a strong Navy, which John Bright vigorously opposed, he welcomed the evidence of goodwill shown by a French publicist, M. Chevalier, who vindicated England against the charge of Chauvinism, and maintained that her attitude was merely defensive. As for the volunteers, _Punch_ commended their patriotism, resented the patronizing contempt of the Regulars, and while ridiculing fancy costumes, was all in favour of a rational uniform:--
Some talk of Alexander, And some of Hercules, But John Bull's rising dander Needs no such aids as these. He shoulders his long Enfield, And at his drill appears, Till "ping-wing-wing," the bullets sing, Of the Rifle Volunteers.
And when he is commanded To find himself in clothes, Like a trump unto his tailor For a uniform he goes. With his easy knickerbockers, And no stock his neck that queers, For a run, jump, stand, they're the boys to command, Are the Rifle Volunteers!
Let the Horse Guards trust to pipe-clay, And General Routine, Till the Linesman's shakoed, belted, And pack'd to a machine; With winds and waists unfettered, And the use of eyes and ears, In wide-awake tile come the rank and file Of the Rifle Volunteers!
COLONEL PUNCH (Inspector of Volunteers): "Look here, George, I want those brave fellows to learn their duty."
H.R.H. COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF: "Of course you do, old boy, and so do I; and I'll see that they _do_ learn it, too!"]
[Illustration: "OUR RESERVES"--THE BATTLE OF AMESBURY
AIDE-DE-CAMP: "Good gracious, sir! Why don't you order your men to lie down under this hill? Can't you see that Battery playing right on them?"