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Too Fat to Fight

THE WINDS OF CHANCE LAUGHING BILL HYDE RAINBOW’S END THE CRIMSON GARDENIA AND OTHER TALES OF ADVENTURE HEART OF THE SUNSET THE AUCTION BLOCK THE IRON TRAIL THE NET THE NE’ER-DO-WELL THE SPOILERS THE BARRIER THE SILVER HORDE GOING SOME

Too Fat to Fight

HARPER & BROTHERS, NEW YORK [ESTABLISHED 1817]

Too Fat to Fight

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Harper & Brothers Publishers New York and London

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Copyright, 1919, by Harper & Brothers Printed in the United States of America Published January, 1919

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OCCASIONALLY HE ORDERED HIS FAVORITE DISH, CORN-STARCH PUDDING _Facing p._ 24

A ROTUND, MIRTH-PROVOKING SPECTACLE IN HIS BULGING UNIFORM, WITH HIS TINY OVERSEAS CAP SET ABOVE HIS ROUND, RED FACE LIKE THE CALYX OF A HUGE RIPE BERRY “ 42

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“Plattsburg. One way,” Norman Dalrymple told the ticket-agent. He named his destination more loudly, more proudly than necessary, and he was gratified when the man next in line eyed him with sudden interest.

Having pocketed his ticket, Dalrymple noted, by his smart new wrist-watch with the luminous dial, that there was still twenty minutes before train-time. Twenty minutes—and Shipp had a vicious habit of catching trains by their coat-tails—a habit doubly nerve-racking to one of Dalrymple’s ponderous weight and deliberate disposition. That afforded ample leeway for a farewell rickey at the Belmont or the Manhattan; it was altogether too long a time to stand around. Mr. Dalrymple—his friends called him “Dimples”—had long since concluded that standing was an unnatural posture for human beings, and with every pound he took on there came a keener appreciation of chairs, benches, couches, divans—anything and everything of that restful pattern except hammocks. Hammocks he distrusted and despised, for they had a way of breaking with the sound of gun-shots and causing him much discomfiture.