Produced by David Edwards, John Campbell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
Some minor changes are noted at the end of the book.
Author of “Artful Antics,” “The Child’s Primer of Natural History,” “Overheard in a Garden,” “Fairy Godmother-in-Law,” “Astonishing Tale of a Pen and Ink Puppet,” “The Confessions of a Caricaturist,” etc.
_Copyright, 1918, By George H. Doran Company_
_Printed in the United States of America_
_Oh, should some power the giftie gie her To see hersel’ as ithers see her, I’m thinking Peg would grow sae vain He’d take the giftie back again._
THE TOUCHING BALLAD OF GENERAL VON BEERS 40
_To see the Kaiser’s epitaph Would make a weeping willow laugh._
Here lies Willy’s mortal clay In its Mother Earth’s caresses. Willy’s soul has flown away-- Where it is you have two guesses.
Here lies Bill, the son of Fred. He lied alive; he now lies dead.
Oh, stranger, dry the starting tear! Kaiser Bill is buried here.
’Neath this stone lies Kaiser Bill. He sought for peace--he seeks it still.
Here Wilhelm sleeps. For Mercy’s sake, Tread softly, friend, lest he should wake!
Swallow him, O Earth, for he, Did his best to swallow thee.
This is a Russian Wedding Feast; Counting the Groom, there are at least A hundred sitting down to dine, Or let us call it ninety-nine: For more than that there is no room, And no one ever counts the Groom!
The Mujik wears a costume weird Consisting of a fuzzy beard, A sheep-skin blouse (the wool inside) And breeks astonishingly wide, Made from the fur of North sea Whales, And Yak-hide boots with big brass nails.
The Cossack is so much at home Upon his horse, that though he roam From Vladivostok to Odessa, His wife has only to address a Letter to Ivan “care his Horse” To catch her Spouse, unless of course, As sometimes happens, Ivan may Have swapped addresses on the way.
Without a doubt the _Samovar_ The _Steppes_ and _Russian Sables_ are Of all things Russian the best known; So in this picture I have shown
A Sable sitting on a flight Of Russian Steppes, before a bright New Samovar, calm as can be, Brewing a cup of Russian Tea.
Come into the cellar, Maud. Get a move on! Goodness gracious, There is nothing to applaud In bravado ostentatious! Still Maud lingered, all unheeding, As the Siren sounded twice; Above the din her voice came pleading, “Are you _sure_ there’s no mice?”