[Illustration: _Keeper_ (_to beater_). "What are you doin' here? Why don't ye go and spread yourself out?"
_Beater._ "Zo I were spread out, and t'other man 'e told I, I were too wide!"]
[Illustration: _Master Bob._ "I say, Adam, that was a pretty bad miss."
_Keeper._ "'Twasn't even that, Master Bob. 'Twas firing in a totally wrong direction."]
[Illustration: "Beg pardon, sir! But if you was to aim at his lordship the next time, I think he'd feel more comforbler, sir!"]
September's first, the day was fair, We sought the pleasant stubble, The birds were rising everywhere, The old dog gave no trouble. And still my friend missed every shot, While I ne'er fired in vain. I said, "Perchance the day's too hot?" He cried, "Amelia Jane!"
We shot throughout the livelong day, We always shoot together, And yet in a disgraceful way, He never touched a feather. I said, "How is it that you muff Your birds, my boy? Explain." He sighed and said, "I know it's rough But, oh, Amelia Jane!"
Quoth I, "Amelia Jane may be As plump as any partridge, But that's no reason I can see Why you should waste each cartridge." He shot the dog, then missed my head, But caused the keeper pain; Then broke his gun and wildly fled To join Amelia Jane!
[Illustration: "ENOUGH OF IT."--_Country Squire._ "By George! Tom, you've gone and shot the dog!"
_Friend_ (_from town_). "O, I say, old fellow, let's go back and have a game o' billiards, or else I'm quite sure I shall shoot the other one! They keep getting in the way so!"]
[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS.--Lion hunting. Be quite sure when you go looking for a lion, that you really want to find one.]
(_A Solemn Tragedy of the Shooting Season_)
This the friend who expected the Grouse that _Jack_ shot.
This is the label addressed to the friend who expected the Grouse that _Jack_ shot.
This is the Babel where lost was the label addressed to the friend, &c.
This is the porter who "found" the "birds" in the Babel where lost was the label, &c.
This is the dame with the crumpled hat, wife of the porter who "found" the "birds," &c.
This is the cooking-wench florid and fat of the dame with the crumpled hat, &c.
This is the table where diners sat, served by the cooking-maid florid and fat of the dame with the crumpled hat, &c.