Following the tingle of relief came a sharp, sickening pinch of jealousy and mortification. These inspired her.
"I don't wonder you were afraid to tell me," she began. "You don't love me--you've never loved me--I was an idiot to believe you did."
"You know I do," he said; "it was hateful of me--but I couldn't help it."
Those four true words wounded her more than all the rest.
"Couldn't help it? Then how can I ever trust you? Even if we were married I could never be sure you weren't kissing some horrid girl or other. No--it's no use--I can never, never forgive you--and it's all over. And I _believed_ in you so, and trusted you--I thought you were the soul of honour."
He could not say, "And so I am, on the whole," which was what he thought. Her tears were falling hot and fast between face and veil, for she had talked till she was very sorry indeed for herself.
Then she rose to the occasion. "Never," she said, her eyes flashing through her tears. "You've deceived me once--you'd do it again! No, it's all over--you've broken my heart and destroyed my faith in human nature. I hope I shall never see you again. Some day you'll understand what you've done, and be sorry!"
She wished that they were at home, and not in this horrible tea-shop, under the curious eyes of the waitresses. At home she could at least have buried her face in the sofa cushions and resisted all his pleading,--at last, perhaps, letting him take one cold passive hand and shower frantic kisses upon it.
He would come to-morrow, however, and then-- At present the thing to compass was a dignified parting.
"Good-bye," she said; "I'm going home. And it's good-bye for ever. No--it's only painful for both of us. There's no more to be said; you've betrayed me. I didn't think a decent man could do such things." She was pulling on her gloves. "Go home and gloat over it all! And that poor girl--you've broken _her_ heart too." This really was a master stroke of nobility.
He stood up suddenly. "Do you mean it?" he said, and his tone should have warned her. "Are you really going to throw me over for a thing like this?"
The anger in his eyes frightened her, and the misery of his face wrung her heart; but how could she say--
"No, of course I'm not! I'm only talking as I know good girls ought to talk"?