[Illustration: Man on Donkey--Dangling Carrots from his Long Nose.]
What is it that smells most when you go into a chemist's shop? Your nose.
Why does a donkey prefer thistles to corn? Because he's an ass.
Why is a lollypop like a horse? Because the more you lick it, the faster it goes.
Why is a well-trained horse like a benevolent man? Because it stops at the sound of woe.
I went to a wood and got it, I sat down to look for it, and brought it home because I could not find it-- A thorn in my foot.
Why is a naughty boy like a postage stamp? Because he is licked and put in the corner to make him stick to his letters.
What is the difference between twice twenty-eight and twice eight and twenty. Twenty; because twice twenty eight is fifty-six, and twice eight and twenty is thirty-six.
What grows less tired the more it works? A carriage wheel.
What is that which increases the more you take from it? A hole.
Why is a tight boot like an oak-tree? Because it produces a-corn.
Who killed one-fourth of the people in the world? Cain, when he killed Abel, there being then only four people in it.
Why is a retired milkman like the whale that swallowed Jonah? Because he took the profit out of the water.
Where was Moses when the candle went out? In the dark.
Why is your ear like a band of music? Because it has a drum in it.
Why are book-keepers like chickens? Because they have to scratch for a living.
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge? Because it must be ground before it is used.
Why is a red herring like a mackintosh? Because it keeps one dry all day.
Where are balls and routs supplied gratis? On the field of battle.
Why is an omnibus like a medical student? Because it is crammed and allowed to pass.
When has a person got as many heads as there are days in the year? On the 31st of December.
What word is shorter for having a syllable added to it? Short.
If I shoot at three birds on a tree, and kill one, how many will remain? None; they will all fly away.
What should you keep after you have given it to another? Your word.
Which would travel fastest--a man with one sack of flour on his back, or a man with two sacks? The man with two sacks, as they would be lighter than one sack of flour.
Did you ever see a bun dance on a table? I often see abundance on the table.