"No, I can't do that, but I can be fannin' myself, all the time fannin' and bowin'." And then he stepped forrerd towards the glass and made a bow so low that his switch flopped over and ketched on the rocker of a chair and he couldn't move either way without jerkin' his braid off.
"Goodness gracious!" I hearn him say, "I never yet tried to be genteel without its being broke up some way," and he gin a jerk and left his switch on the floor. He took it up tenderly and smoothed it out and wuz tryin' to attach it to his head agin. It wuz fastened on by a red ribbin comin' up over his head and tied on top. But at that minute he ketched sight of me and he looked some meachin', but he begun immegiately pourin' our profuse reasons for his costoom and manners.
Sez he, "You know, Robert wants us to meet that high official, and I felt that it would help our relations with China if I should dress up China fashion."
Sez I, "It will help one of your relations if you'll take off that red petticoat of hern, and ribbins and cameos and badges and things."
Sez he, "I am doin' this for political reasons, Samantha, and can't be hampered by domestic reasons and ignorance." And he kep' on tyin' the bow on his foretop.
Sez I, "For the sake of your children and grandchildren won't you desist and not put 'em to shame and make a laughin' stock of yourself before Miss Meechim and Arvilly and all the rest?"
"I shall do my duty, Samantha," sez he, and he pulled out the ribbin of the bow, so that it sot out some like a turban over his forward. "Of course I look very dressy and pretty in this costoom, but that is not my reason for wearin' it; you and Arvilly are always talking about political men who don't come up to the mark and do their duty by their constituents. I am a very influential man, Samantha, and there is no tellin' how much good I shall do my country this day, and the sneers of the multitude shall not deter me."
Sez I, almost fearfully, "Think of the meetin' house, Josiah, where you're a deacon and looked up to; what will they say to hear of this, passin' yourself off for a Chinaman; dressin' up in petticoats and red ribbins!"
Sez he, cranin' his neck round to see the bow hangin' down his back, "Our old forefathers went through worse trials than this when they eat their cartridge boxes and friz themselves at Valley Forge," and he fingered some of them bows and ornaments on his breast agin with a vain, conceited smirk of satisfaction. I wuz at my wits' end; I glanced at the door; there wuz no lock on it; what should I do? Religion and common sense wouldn't move him, and as for my sharpest weepon--good vittles--here I wuz hampered, I couldn't cook 'em for him, what could I do?