Coming into _Burchin-Lane_, I went to a Salesman, and bought (pretendedly for my Maid) an ordinary yet handsome Petticoat and Wastcoat, furnishing my self with all the Appurtenances requisite for a Servant maid.
In stead of returning to my Lodging, I caused the Coachman to drive me to one of the principal Nurseries of _Venus_, _Whetstones Park_. For I lookt upon it as a matter of small import, to take my leave either of my young Gallant at home, or my Landlord, since I had not left the least Mortgage behind me for sleeping.
Mother _Cunny_ (to tell the truth) was the Nick-name of that Corpulent Matron, that with much demonstrations of joy received me into her house; neither could she forbear expressing her great satisfaction, in that her civil and honest deportment was so generally taken notice of, as that it should be an inducement to strangers to shelter themselves under her Tutelage, preferring her as a Guardian or Tutress, before so many throughly tried, and long experienced antient Gentlewomen, both in City and Suburbs. She highly applauded both the Features and Complexion of my Face, not forgetting the right colour of my Hair, which was flaxen: the Stature of my Person infinitely pleased her, which was somewhat of the tallest: In short, nothing disliked her, but that she said I lookt as if I had a greater mind to beat, than buss; and to fight, than delight my Amoretes with smiling insinuations.
I had not been long in her house, before a roaring Damme entred the house, (a constant visitant) who meeting with my Guardian, was informed that there was a rich treasure discover’d in her house, and that none should attempt to spring the Mine, till he had made entrance by the first stroak. In short, he was brought into the Chamber where I was, who at first behaved himself indifferently civil, and treated me nobly: But O Heavens! how great was my confusion and distraction, when strength of Arguments and force of hands would not repel the fury of his lust, and that nothing would serve his turn but lying with me. I defended my self manfully a long time; but seeing it was impossible to hold out any longer, and that I must be discovered, the next assault he made, forced me to cry out: this so alarumed my Gentleman (concluding this outcry proceeded not from modesty and chastity, but out of some trapanning design) that he drew his sword, and made toward the Stair-case, and running down with more haste than good speed, overturned my kind Governess (that was puffing up the Stairs to my relief) and so both tumbled down together: fear had so dispossest this huffling fellow of his senses, that he mistook my old Matron for the _Bravo_ he thought did usually attend me, and so without once looking behind him, made his escape into the street, leaving the piece of Antiquity not so much defaced by time, as by this dismal accident so near extinguishing, that she was half undone in the vast expence of her Strong-waters, to bring her tongue to one single motion.