"Admiral over! _Surface_, lads! He's flying a belted sword; Pipe the side or stern or bow, stand to attention smartly now-- Wherever he comes aboard."
The Admiral landed Cabré-wise And high the fountains burst-- (What is the meaning of Cabré-wise? To men of the air it signifies-- His after-end was first).
They piped the side, and still they stood To watch him struggle and heave, As he fought the slope of the rounded deck (for none could pull at an Admiral's neck Without the Admiral's leave).
They took him below, and sat him down On the edge of the Captain's bed,-- Treatment vile for a foemen caught, they gave him a bottle of Navy Port-- Fiery, dark, and red.
They landed him at a Naval Base, With S. two-twenty D. _Supplied_--_a large and bearded Hun: Grosse Admirals, angry, One-- For draft to Admiraltee._
And Grosse-Admiral Schultz von Schmidt, Graf von Hansa-Zoom, Faded away to Donnington Hall, to an English park with a guarded wall --To an elegant private room.
And there he paced the carpet up, And paced the carpet down, "Alte Himmel!"--the prisoners cried--"Some one's trod on the German pride, And dared the Hansa frown!"
The Admiral called for a fountain pen And Reference Sheets[1] galore, And silence fell on the smoking-room--for Grosse-Admiral Hansa-Zoom Was throwing a Gage of War.
"_Can I believe your Lordships mean To stand so idly by-- When a young lieutenant of twenty-four, pleading the need of Naval War, Shall make an Admiral fly?_
_Never shall I believe it true That I should have to fall On an icy sea with an awful spank, by the act of one of a junior rank, I--Schultz, of Donnington Hall._"
Their Lordships read--and bells were heard That woke the echoing past; And Scouts and messengers jumped and fled--till all was still as a world of dead Beneath the wireless mast.
My Lords in solemn conclave drew Behind a bolted door, Threshing it out in full debate--"Is it a case for an Acting Rate? Or use of Martial Law?"
At four o'clock in the afternoon, With tea-cups clattering past, Along the echoing Portland floor the whisper passed from door to door-- "_They've settled it all at last!_"
And I have the word of a lady fair In Room Two Thousand B-- (A perfect peach, I beg to state), who typed the letter in triplicate And passed it on to me.