"So every pub I enter, boys, With welcome the room will ring; Make room for him, there, in the centre, boys! For he is the Boozer King! Yes, give him a seat in the centre, boys. Three cheers for our Boozer King!"
But TIME's worn features exhibited nothing but the strongest disgust.
"Is it possible," he exclaimed, "that this sort of thing can be considered amusing anywhere!"
"It is considered extremely facetious," said _Mr. Punch_--"in Seriocomix."
"What would they think of such a--such an apotheosis of degradation in one of your Music Halls at home, eh?" demanded TIME.
Privately, _Mr. Punch_ was of opinion that it would not be at all unpopular. However, he was not going to admit this:--
"It would be hissed off the stage," he said, courageously. "The fact is, that our Eccentric Vocalists have always shrunk from the responsibility of presenting a national vice under an attractive light, and so such exhibitions are absolutely unknown among us."
"I respect them for their scruples," said TIME; "they have their reward in a clear conscience," "No doubt," said _Mr. Punch_. "Shall we go on?" And as TIME had had enough of the Boozer King, they went on, and entered the next hall, just as a remarkably pretty young girl, with an innocent rosebud mouth and saucy bright eyes like a bird's, tripped daintily on to the platform.
"Come," said TIME, with more approval than he had yet shown, "this is better--_much_ better. We need feel no shame is listening to _this_ young lady, at all events. What is she going to give us? Some tender little love-ditty, I'll be bound?"
She sang of love, certainly, though she treated the subject from rather an advanced point of view, and this was the song she sang:--
"True love--you tyke the tip from me--'s all blooming tommy-rot! And the only test we go by is--'ow much a man has got? So none of you need now despair a girlish 'art to mash,-- So long as you're provided with the necessairy cash!"
"You may be an 'owling cad; Or be gowing to the bad; Or a hoary centenarian, or empty-headed lad; Or the merest trifle mad-- If there's rhino to be had, Why, a modern girl will tyke you--yes, and only be too glad!"
As she carolled out this charming ditty in her thin high voice, TIME positively shivered in his stall, "Are _all_ the girls like that in Seriocomix?" he moaned. "I trust not."