_Bunter_: I’ve known them to do it at two in the morning, Mr. Cummings.
_Cummings_: Have you, now? Well, this was at three. Three o’clock in the morning we was waked up. I give you _my_ word.
_Bunter_: You don’t say so, Mr. Cummings.
_Cummings_: He cuts up diseases, you see, Mr. Bunter, and then he don’t like to go to bed till he’s washed the bacilluses off, if you understand me. Very natural, too, I daresay. But what I say is, the middle of the night’s no time for a gentleman to be occupying his mind with diseases.
_Bunter_: These great men have their own way of doing things.
_Cummings_: Well, all I can say is, it isn’t my way.
(I could believe that, your lordship. Cummings has no signs of greatness about him, and his trousers are not what I would wish to see in a man of his profession.)
_Bunter_: Is he habitually as late as that, Mr. Cummings?
_Cummings_: Well, no, Mr. Bunter, I will say, not as a general rule. He apologized, too, in the morning, and said he would have the cistern seen to—and very necessary, in my opinion, for the air gets into the pipes, and the groaning and screeching as goes on is something awful. Just like Niagara, if you follow me, Mr. Bunter, I give you _my_ word.
_Bunter_: Well, that’s as it should be, Mr. Cummings. One can put up with a great deal from a gentleman that has the manners to apologize. And, of course, sometimes they can’t help themselves. A visitor will come in unexpectedly and keep them late, perhaps.
_Cummings_: That’s true enough, Mr. Bunter. Now I come to think of it, there _was_ a gentleman come in on Monday evening. Not that he came late, but he stayed about an hour, and may have put Sir Julian behindhand.
_Bunter_: Very likely. Let me give you some more port, Mr. Cummings. Or a little of Lord Peter’s old brandy.
_Cummings_: A little of the brandy, thank you, Mr. Bunter. I suppose you have the run of the cellar here. (He winked at me.)
“Trust me for that,” I said, and I fetched him the Napoleon. I assure your lordship it went to my heart to pour it out for a man like that. However, seeing we had got on the right tack, I felt it wouldn’t be wasted.
“I’m sure I wish it was always gentlemen that come here at night,” I said. (Your lordship will excuse me, I am sure, making such a suggestion.)