"But that's four pounds seven less than he charges."
"And observe I am allowing two pounds eleven for Baby's fidgets--or rather for your fidgets about baby--on the basis of Aunt Maria being worth a guinea a whim."
"Two pounds eleven for looking at Baby's tongue every other day when there was nothing really the matter with him at all! It's preposterous, Jack. There must be something wrong. You must see Dr. Thom at once about that account. Call to-morrow, dear, on your way to town."
I called. After all there is, as Minerva says, something inexpressibly mean in asking a doctor for a detailed account. This thought occurred to me as Dr. Thom shook hands, beaming as usual with that genial heart-warming smile of his.
"Ah--er--Doctor--my wife would like to see you first time you're passing," I managed to say.
"Nothing much. A little matter of detail--that is--I mean Maudie's chest--or rather Tommy's stomach."
"Oh, we'll soon put that right, bless you. Don't you worry yourself about that, Mr. Spratt. Beautiful morning, isn't it?"
A little rough on Tommy, perhaps, but rougher on me.
[Illustration: "Here comes two noble beasts in, a moon and a lion."
_A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act. V., Scene 1._
[It is announced that the Defender is to be named _Half Moon_.]]
Our village cobbler, Roberts, has reduced the principle, "Put not thy trust in any child of man," to its very lowest and worst. He regards himself as simply born to be robbed and oppressed. Yet is he so mild and uncomplaining and unassuming about it all that no one, even the most persistent robber and oppressor, could ever find it in his heart to do him down. But even so his pessimism and readiness to be done are such that he must make it very hard for people to spare him sometimes. I have this story from our local banker, who was called upon by the Income Producer Company, Limited (of some obscure address in the City of London) to put the matter right.
It appears that Roberts had, after many years of economy, amassed some savings, which from the first he regarded as bound to land him in trouble. He indulged in twenty £1 shares in the I. P. Co., Ltd., only because he had to do something with the twenty pounds. He told everybody that he neither expected to see his capital again nor even to get any interest on it. He hinted darkly at worse things to come from the transaction, though what these might be he didn't pretend to know.