And so it was, when the sharks at last stuck the stakes in the bottom, swam out in front of the net and stood side by side greedily contemplating the magnificent feast spread before them, my ancestor bore down upon them swiftly and sawed them each into two pieces so quickly neither of them was aware of it for some time after their tails had wiggled away, and might never have found out what was the trouble had they not looked back to see why their tails did not obey their commands to push them ahead. When they did find it out they were so chagrined they with one accord died then and there, as a just tribute to their sublime disgust with themselves.
And the amount of fish thus taken by my ancestor was so incomprehensible words fail to convey any adequate idea of its magnitude. There was not a single mesh in the net which did not contain at least one fish, and the net was four hundred feet long and five fathoms deep and each mesh was an inch and a half square. The method of computation is easy, but time is precious.
Thereupon my ancestor became a baron and the title has descended to your humble servant.
My two-great-grandfather was a wise magician, and, so celebrated was he, wise men of the entire world consulted him upon doubtful questions which he readily solved without a single error in his calculations.
His various experiences when a mere lad with the genii were the foundation of his accomplishments, and in maturer years he made countless discoveries of new and wonderful things. It is my pleasure to regale you with one of these.
He had obtained great wealth by the aid of the curious lamp he had found in the most marvelous manner, but which is of small importance in comparison with what I am about to relate; and he so considered it, for he gave the lamp to a beggar when he had secured the talisman which is the subject of this sketch.
Then be it remembered that in the land of the Sapphires and Diamonds there lived a princess of such matchless beauty no man had yet looked upon her and survived the fire of the love which was instantaneously engendered within his breast; for he could sleep neither by day nor by night, nor could he eat or drink, but could think of nothing but this lovely princess. And the final end of each was the final end of all, which was by kissing the princess on the lips, for so cold was she the chilling shock to the burning heart produced instant death.