Literature on sexuality in Somalia has various focuses, from courtship, the motives behind FGM, extended singleness, marriage and the relationship between the sexes. It usually has a heterosexual focus, and norms surrounding sexuality can differ between each national depending on levels of religiosity, conservatism, location as well as other factors although a common Somali culture exists.
Committal
Calmasho
Calmasho is a more serious form of courtship and typically involves a view towards marriage. The calmasho process may place a greater level if encumbrance upon the male than the female due to the meher stipulation whereby money is exchanged from man to woman, whereby the woman can set any price; or for introverted men, the doonasho, soo doonis or geedh fadhiisi process, whereby a man is required to inquire about his courtee to her male relative, usually her father. A common tradition is for a senior elder from the groom's side to act on behalf of the groom. Once an agreement exists, another occasion is set for this to be formalised during the nikah procession wherein instead a "male guardian" or imam enacts the giving away of the bride. This is often followed by a process called sooriyo wherein cash is placed within a keffiyeh and then split in half to be shared among the bride and grooms elders (or other family). If the groom confirms his commitment, then the "male guardian" or imam confirms the marriage and the attendees are informed by the following mashxarad (ululation) that is enacted by the women, which is followed by congratulating. The final ceremony involves the aroos (wedding), which depending on the specific community, may occur during a later time of the day.
Terminology
More liberal or non-religious Somalis may use terms such as "isku biir" or "isku biirasho", which mean "to connect" or "making connections" respectively. Such terminology is intentionally unpretentious and is used in order to reduce pressure and provides for a less formal atmosphere, as the terms aren't necessarily romance-oriented, and as such leave options open for a platonic, transcendent, vocational or intellectual relationship. More religious Somalis may inculcate religious terminology, such as hunna libaasullakum (Q2:187), or the Somalized equivalent weydaarsiga dharka, both roughly meaning exchanging clothes, which is Islamic terminology to describe forming an attachment to a spouse. There are many terms for a pair of spouses, including labada isqaba, afoyaal or saygayaasha. A more flirty term of endearment is gacaliso meaning my beloved. Those who view the Somali dating process as impersonal may refer to it as shucuur la'aan, roughly meaning stoic or unsentimental.
An in-law is referred to as dumaashi, soddog or in second person, soddog-aydi (my in-law'). During a divorce, the utterance of furitaan (divorce) is uttered thrice.
Platonic terms of endearment used between male and female associates may include words such as wehel (friend), jaale (comrade), jaar (neighbour) or lammaane (partner). A term of endearment between confidants includes huuno meaning dear. The term for marriage in Somali is guur which also means to travel. This is in reference to the traditional associated marital practise of aqal gal (literally room entrance), which in practise meant the couple moved into a house. However, some religiously observant Somalis may substitute for terms that eschew materialism and favor forbearing ordinances such as "marry the unmarried among you ... If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty" (Q24:32), however, parents often insist on financial stability from male suitors.
A derogatory term for a person (usually a woman) who ostensibly has no prospects for marriage or is past the typical marrying age is guumeeys which in another sense means owl, and roughly translates to English as spinster or femcel. In the South West dialects, the words zawaj or aroos are used to describe a marriage.