_Many sins are forgiven her, because she loved much._ --Gospel of the Day.
My dear brethren, no one who has faith can fail to be more or less anxious as to whether he will in the end save his soul. We all know that our faith alone will not save us; that faith, as St. James tells us, without works is dead. And we know that everything depends on the last moment; that as the tree falls, so will it lie for all eternity. So we tremble to think that perhaps that last moment will find us with our sins unforgiven, and all unprepared to meet our Judge; and that, in spite of our having borne the name of Christ, we may be then cast away from his presence into the outer darkness for ever.
Some people, I know, have a very simple way of reassuring themselves about this all-important matter. They think that, of course, when they come to die they will send for the priest; then, if he gets there in time, of course there can be no question about their salvation. And even if he does not, perhaps they would not altogether despair; certainly their friends will not despair of them. God, they think, will not utterly cast off those who have always believed in him; their prayers and those of their friends will certainly obtain them a place in purgatory, and at last they will save their souls, at least by fire.
But, after all, do not even the most confident of us sometimes have a fear that even the last sacraments may not make our salvation absolutely sure? The last sacraments are not so very different from the others we have received before; and do we always feel fully prepared to die after every Communion which we make? No, there is a haunting fear that something is not right which pursues us even at the altar-rail; we would give much if we could only do something which would take it away altogether.
Let us not be troubled because we have this fear; it is better not to be entirely free from it; above all, let us not stay away from the sacraments because we have it. If we stay away in any case except that of known and certain mortal sin which is not forgiven, we shall only make matters worse. But still this fear is generally a sign of something wrong; it does not altogether come from humility, or from the desire of salvation. It comes from a want of something which we ought to have; from a want of the greatest of all virtues, of that which includes all others, and brings all others with it--from a want of the love of God. Not an entire want of it, but a want of strength in it, a want of affection; a want of that feeling which we have for our friends, and which, above all, we should have for the greatest and best of all.