They hang around gardens in the spring ov the year, and are wuss, and quicker, on kukumber vines, than a distrikt skoolmaster iz on a kittle ov warm pork and beans.

The lady bug iz the pet ov little children, who ketch them in their hands and then sing to them the old nursery rime:

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 129

"Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home, Your house is on fire, and your children will roam."

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 129

Let them go, and sure enough the lady bug duz put for home in a grate hurry.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings — Part 129

The lady bug iz probably useful, but Webster's unabridged dont tell us for what.

Whenever i cum akros enny bug, that i dont know what they waz built for, i dont blame the bug.

I hav grate phaith in ennything that kreeps, krawls, or even wiggles, and tho i haint been able tew satisfy miself all about the usefulness ov bed bugs, musketoze, and striped snaix, i hav phaith that Divine Providence did not make them in vain.

Phaith iz knolledge ov the highest order.

Did you ever see a tree-tud, mi christian friends? If yu didn't, cum with me next July, and i will sho yu one.

Morrally konsidered, they are like enny other tud, physikally they aint.

They are about the size ov an old-fashioned 25 cent piece, a hed on one side ov them, and a tail on the other.

They are the only tuds that kan klimb with enny degree of alakrity, and are the only ones that kan sing like a tea-kittle when she is cooking water.

Tree-tuds, when they are on a tree, or on the top rale ov a phence, hav the faculty ov disguising their personal looks, and appearing exactly like the spot where they set.

I have often put mi hand on them in getting over a phence. They wont bight nor jaw back, but they feal az raw and kold az the yelk ov an egg.

The tree-tud livs upon flies and sitch like vittles, but if they dont git enny thing tew eat, they dont strike for higher wages.

A tree-tud will liv all summer on a south wind, with an ockashional drop ov dew to wet hiz song.

They kan outdiet any bug or jumping thing i kno ov.

The porkupine iz a kind ov thorny woodchuck.

They are bigger than a rat, and smaller than a calf.

They liv in the ground, and are az prikly all over az a chesnutt burr, or a case ov the hives.

It iz sed that they hav the power ov throwing their prickers like a javelin, but this iz a smart falshood.