Why was the capture of Fort Hatteras like an English nobleman's mansion? Because there was a Butler engaged in it.
Why will Americans have more cause to remember the letter S than any other letter in the alphabet? Because it is the beginning of secession and the end of Jeff Davis.
Why should it not be loyal for a Union lady to accept a token of regard from a lover at the present time? Because it would be receiving a Beauregard (beau-regard).
Why is the rebellion like the world? Because it is coming to an end.
Why has Massachusetts done more towards the war loan than any other State? Because she has sent even her Banks.
Why are two lovers pledged to each other like the Federal Army before Washington? Because they have lately had an engagement and go in strong for the Union.
Why is a hen looking into a rotten pumpkin like the Southern Confederacy? Because she is trying to see seed (secede).
Why is the city of Washington like a despairing old maid? Because she has looked long and in vain for a Beauregard.
What one sentence expresses the wish of both the Southern Confederacy and the United States government? Let us alone (a loan).
What route should our army take at the present? The rout of the enemy.
Why is a man just knighted like a nutmeg? Because he's grated.
Why are lamps like the Thames? Because they have lighters.
Why is a sedan chair like the world? Because it's between two poles.
What is the most favorable season to have your letters from India? The season which brings the monsoon.
How do you know that the Queen approves of the penny postage? Because she gives her countenance to it.
Why is the old elm on Boston Common like the ladies of Boston? Because they are well hooped.
How long should a lady's crinoline be made? A little over two feet.
Why are ladies who wear large crinolines ugly? Because they are not even passable.
Why are washerwomen unreasonable? They expect soft water when it rains hard.
Why are they the greatest of coquettes? They wring men's ruffled bosoms.
What would happen if a colored waiter dropped a platter with a turkey upon it? The humiliation of Africa, the fall of Turkey, the destruction of China, and the overflowing of Greece.
What river is that which runs between two seas? The Thames--between Chel-sea and Batter-sea.