_Jack._ "SPORT! IF YOU CALL IT SPORT TO HAVE NO WATER AND NO FISH, AND TO PAY NINETY POUNDS FOR THREE WEEKS OF IT, I'VE HAD PLENTY!"]
[Illustration: _PRACTISING ON A PATIENT._
_Young Practitioner._ "H'M, VERY ODD--! MUST HAVE MADE SOME MISTAKE; THERE'S NOTHING THE MATTER WITH _THIS_ TOOTH. NEVER MIND, TRY AGAIN!"]
_Infuriated Principal, opening Fast Clerk's telegram by mistake (reads)._ "'TOM TIT' SURE TO WIN--TELEGRAPH AND SAY IF YOU WILL HAVE PONY ON--IF SO, SEND CASH TO-DAY!"]
_Brown (who has given Tomkins, from Town, a Mount)._ "YOU NEEDN'T BE THE LEAST AFRAID. IT'S ONLY HIS PLAY. HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT AFTER HE HAS BEEN OVER A FEW FENCES!"]
_Swell Keeper (to party assembled)._ "NOW, I WANTS A COUPLE O' LORDS FORRAO--A COUPLE O' LORDS ON THE RIGHT, AND A COUPLE O' LORDS ON THE LEFT!" (_Turning to humble Commoner in Knickerbockers and Zouave gaiters._) "YOU TRY THE HIGH STUFF WITH THE BEATERS, AND TAKE YOUR CHANCE OF A HARE BACK."]
OLD FLOAT AND TOM GENTLE DON'T GET ANY BITES, SO THEY LAND ON AN ISLAND TO HAVE A QUIET SMOKE--THEY SUDDENLY DISCOVER THAT THE ROPE HAS SLIPPED, AND THE BOAT IS DRIFTING DOWN THE RIVER! (_No one near for miles._)]
_Host._ "STAY, STEVENS--WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE SALMON? NOBODY HAS HAD ANY OF IT!"
_Butler._ "PRAY, SIR, WHAT ARE WE TO HAVE FOR SUPPER?"]
_Mr. Bristles._ "THEN YOU REALLY THINK IT AN IMPROVEMENT, EH?"
_Miss Spikes._ "DECIDEDLY--IT HIDES SO MUCH MORE OF YOUR FACE."]
THE EARTHQUAKE WAS FELT, TOO, IN MANY PARTS OF LONDON. THIS IS OLD BEERY, THE CHURCHWARDEN, WHO DECLARES THAT WHEN HE CAME OUT OF THE MARQUIS OF GRANBY THE PAVEMENT HIT HIM ON THE NOSE, AND THAT HIS STREET-DOOR WOULDN'T LET HIM GET HIS LATCH-KEY IN.]
[Illustration: _CURIOUS ECHO AT A RAILWAY STATION._
_Echo._ "DON'T YOU WISH YOU MAY GET HIM?"]
_Costermonger._ "NOW, MISTER, I WANTS MY DELICACY OF TOUCH RESTORED, AND THE SEAL OF HELEGANCE IMPRESSED UPON MY BUNCH OF FIVES!"]
[Illustration: _DISSENTERS IN THE UNIVERSITY._
_Head of House._ "PRAY, SIR, MAY I ASK WHY YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ATTENDING CHAPEL?"
_Sir Liabed Rattlecash._ "WHY, SIR, THE FACT IS--AW--THAT--I--AW--HAVE BECOME A DISSENTER."]
_William._ "NOW, CHAWLES, AIN'T YOU READY? _OUR_ CARRIAGE IS AT THE DOOR AND THE FOLKS ARE IN!"]