Between two Travellers, on their road, Dispute arose, in a strange mode:-- The one a story-teller, such As oft are met with, who can't touch On any great or trivial topic, Without the use--that is, abuse-- Of lenses microscopic. With them all objects are gigantic, Small ponds grow huge as the Atlantic. The present instance said he "knew A cabbage once that grew so tall, It topped a lofty garden wall." "I'm sure," replied his friend, "'tis true, For I myself a pot have met, Within which no large church could get." The first one such a pot derided: "Softly, my friend," rejoined the second; "You quite without your host have reckoned; To boil your cabbage was my pot provided!"
The man of the monstrous pot was a wag, The man of the iron adroit; And if ever you meet with a man who'll brag, Never attempt to stint him a doit, But match his long bow with your strong bow.
The gods our perils would make wealthy, If we our vows remembered, when once made. But, dangers passed, and we, all safe and healthy, Forget the promises on altars laid; We only think of what we owe to men. Jove, says the atheist, is a creditor Who never sends out bailiffs; if so, then What is the thunder meant as warning for? A Passenger, in tempest tossed and rolled, To Jupiter a hundred oxen offered. He hadn't one; had he been only bold, A hundred elephants he would have proffered: They'd cost him not a single farthing more. Suddenly mounted unto great Jove's nose The scent of beef bones burnt upon the shore. "Accept my promised vow," the rascal crows; "'Tis ox you smell: the smoke is all for thee: Now we are quits." Jove smiled a bitter smile; But, some days after, sent a dream, to be The recompense of that man's wicked guile. The dream informed him where a treasure lay: The man ran to it, like a moth to flame. Some robbers seized him. Having nought to pay, He promised them at once, if they but came Where he'd a hundred talents of good gold. The place, far off, pleased not the wary thieves; And one man said, "My comrade, I am told You mock us; and he dies, whoe'er deceives. Go and take Pluto, for an offering, Your hundred talents: they will please the king."
[Illustration: JUPITER AND THE TRAVELLER.]
An Ape and a Leopard one day repair-- Money to gain--to a country fair, And setting up separate booths they vie, Each with each, in the arts of cajolery. "Come, see me," cries Leopard, "come, gentlemen come, The price of admission's a very small sum; To the great in all places my fame is well known, And should death overtake me, the king on his throne Would be glad of a robe from my skin; For 'tis mottled and wattled, And stained and ingrained With spots and with lines, lines and spots thick and thin, That truly, though modest, I can but declare, 'Tis by far the most wonderful thing in the fair." This bounce attained its end, and so The gulls came hurrying to the show; But, the sight seen, and the cash spent, They went away in discontent. Meanwhile the Ape cries--"Come, and see The sum of versatility! Yon Leopard boasts, through thick and thin, A splendid show of outside skin; But many varied gifts I have (For which your kind applause I crave) All safely lodged my brain within. Your servant I, Monsieur Guffaw, The noble Bertrand's son-in-law, Chief monkey to his Holiness The Pope. I now have come express, In three huge ships, to have with you The honour of an interview: For speaking is my special forte, And I can dance, and hoops jump through, And other kinds of tumbling do, And magic feats perform of every sort; And for six blancos? no, I say, a sou; But if with the performance you Are discontented, at the door To each his money we'll restore." And right was the Ape: For the colour and shape Of fine clothes can but please for awhile, Whilst the charms of a brain That is witty, remain, And for ever can soothe and beguile. Ah! there's many a one, Lord and gentleman's son, Who holds high estate here below, Who to Leopards akin Has nought but fine skin As the sum of his merits to show.