"Yes," she said to herself, "it was she, not I, who had the power. And now? Yes, now, is it still not I? How very strange!"
Drip! drip! fell the rain that day, two weeks after Stephen Archdale's return from Louisburg. It was an easterly drizzle that, looked at from the window, seemed to be merely time wasted, for the rain appeared to be amounting to nothing; but if one tried it, he found it chilling, penetrating, and gloomy enough. To Archdale, as he plodded through the muddy streets, Boston had never looked so dismal; yet within the last ten days he had tasted enough of its hospitality to have had the memory of its smiling faces lighten his gloom. But another memory overshadowed these. He had not been to see Mistress Royal during his stay in town. He wondered if this neglect seemed strange to her, or if she had not even noticed it. Of course, fêted and flattered as she was, the heroine of the hour, though bearing her honors under protest, she had not wasted her thoughts upon him. He was doing her injustice here, and he felt sure of it; she had thought of his meetings with Katie. But her very sympathy was what he wanted least of all; it was as strong a defence as the walls of Louisburg.
What did he want? Why had he not been to see her? Why should he go? The mist and dimness of the day were nothing to the obscurity in his own mind. All that he was quite sure of was, that whenever he had received an invitation, and the heroes of Louisburg had had lionizing enough, he had thought, first of all that he should meet Elizabeth Royal; yet when he had met her he had never talked much to her; but by stealth he had watched her constantly.
That morning he was walking toward her home. Should he go in and ask for her? He slackened his steps as he drew near. But what should he say to her? Commonplaces? He went on.
Elizabeth happened to go to the window as Archdale was disappearing down the street. Since his return an arrangement had been made to pay back the money that she had put into the Archdale firm, and a part of this had been already paid; the rest was to follow soon. It was no wonder that Mr. Archdale wanted to be rid of all thought of her, since she had made him lose what he valued most in the world. After a time she turned back to the open fire again and took up her book; but she did not read much. "Is it possible," she said to herself at last, "that it annoys me because he does not treat me as the rest do, as if I had done something wonderful? He knows better. And surely I have done him injury enough to make him wish never to see me again." Again she sat with her book in her lap and thinking. "There was a charm in that terrible life at Louisburg that I cannot find here," she said to herself at last. "I suppose I am not made for gayety. He was one of the figures in it, and he recalls it. But all that life has gone, and he with it." Then she was shocked at a disposition that could prefer bloodshed to peace. No; it certainly was not this: it was because for once she had been a little useful. She felt sure that Stephen Archdale had met Katie, and, as he went down the street past the house that rainy morning, Elizabeth's thoughts followed him with a pity all the more deep that it would be compelled to be forever silent.