[Footnote 2: I use here the precise words of the unhappy man, as they were repeated to me.]
"Heaven knows I was not thinking of doing it; in my deep sorrow of the preceding days the phantom of my predestined crime was exorcised. I had not even that to warn me; the hour was entirely unguarded. I struck in self-defense. He had intercepted and knocked me down, to prevent me from going to see my sick wife. Blind and giddy, and furious, I struggled to my feet, and seized the first weapon that offered, a three-legged stool, and struck with all my strength; but when I saw the leg crush through his eye and brain, one lightning thought told me that he was killed, and thenceforth all the world was against me, and I against the world; and then waves of blood and clouds of fire seemed to roll up around me, and rage in a horrible tempest; reason fled utterly, and I knew nothing more until near midnight, when I came to myself upon the floor of Fannie's room; and even then, in my vague remorse and horror of half-conscious blood-guiltiness, I seemed to be some other thing than myself--perhaps some lost soul in perdition! Brother Elisha, Heaven bless him, was bending over me. It was to him I owed the preservation of my life. It was by his counsel and assistance that I disguised myself in poor Fannie's clothing, which fitted me well enough for the purpose. He even crimped my hair and tied up my head in a woman's turban. And he found and thrust Fannie's free papers in my bosom, and then led me off to his own home. Well, in this disguise, and by keeping very close, I contrived to elude the vigilance of the police, until a surer place of safety was provided for me near this cabin. For eighteen months I have eluded the police; but think you, my brothers and sisters, that, for one moment, I have escaped the avenger of blood? No! no! After the crime he found me even in the first moments of my waking consciousness; his clutch has never been relaxed from my heart; it compresses now, even to suffocation; the death that you would save me from I die every hour of my life; I can bear it no longer; I must die once for all, and have done with it; I should have resigned myself into the hands of the law, and, in the final expiation, long since found rest, but for Fannie's grief and terror. But now, even her tears and prayers must not hinder me; even for her peace it is better I should give myself up to die, and have it over, for now she lives in the midst of alarms; hereafter, when all is over, she will at least have quiet."