[Enter Merriman with a card on a salver.]
MERRIMAN. Mr. Ernest Worthing has just driven over from the station. He has brought his luggage with him.
CECILY. [Takes the card and reads it.] ‘Mr. Ernest Worthing, B. 4, The Albany, W.’ Uncle Jack’s brother! Did you tell him Mr. Worthing was in town?
MERRIMAN. Yes, Miss. He seemed very much disappointed. I mentioned that you and Miss Prism were in the garden. He said he was anxious to speak to you privately for a moment.
CECILY. Ask Mr. Ernest Worthing to come here. I suppose you had better talk to the housekeeper about a room for him.
CECILY. I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else.
[Enter Algernon, very gay and debonnair.] He does!
ALGERNON. [Raising his hat.] You are my little cousin Cecily, I’m sure.
CECILY. You are under some strange mistake. I am not little. In fact, I believe I am more than usually tall for my age. [Algernon is rather taken aback.] But I am your cousin Cecily. You, I see from your card, are Uncle Jack’s brother, my cousin Ernest, my wicked cousin Ernest.
ALGERNON. Oh! I am not really wicked at all, cousin Cecily. You mustn’t think that I am wicked.
CECILY. If you are not, then you have certainly been deceiving us all in a very inexcusable manner. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.
ALGERNON. [Looks at her in amazement.] Oh! Of course I have been rather reckless.
ALGERNON. In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my own small way.
CECILY. I don’t think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must have been very pleasant.
ALGERNON. It is much pleasanter being here with you.
CECILY. I can’t understand how you are here at all. Uncle Jack won’t be back till Monday afternoon.
ALGERNON. That is a great disappointment. I am obliged to go up by the first train on Monday morning. I have a business appointment that I am anxious . . . to miss?
CECILY. Couldn’t you miss it anywhere but in London?
ALGERNON. No: the appointment is in London.
CECILY. Well, I know, of course, how important it is not to keep a business engagement, if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of life, but still I think you had better wait till Uncle Jack arrives. I know he wants to speak to you about your emigrating.