‘Thus my life has been one of absolute sameness. There was no joy in it except the satisfaction of regular habits, and there was no sorrow, until last year but one (May 28th), when Miss Juana Craig walked into the office at Kilburn.
‘I did not know her, had never seen her before, but I guessed at once that she was the daughter of Mr. Raphael Craig, the manager of our branch. I say she said, “Is my father in his office?” Nothing beyond those words, and yet they had the same effect on me as if they had been the most magnificent piece of oratory. I was literally struck dumb with emotion. There was something peculiar in her rich voice that overcame me. She was obliged to repeat the question.
‘At last I said, “Miss Craig, I presume. No; Mr. Craig is not in, but he will be in shortly.” ‘I stammered this as though I had been repeating a badly-learnt lesson.
‘She said, “Then I will wait in his room, if I may.”
‘The way she said those last three words, “if I may,” made me feel dizzy. There was a sort of appeal in them. Of course I knew it was only politeness--formal politeness--yet I was deeply touched by it. And I felt ashamed that this beautiful girl should, in a way, have to beg a favour from old me.
‘I said, “With pleasure.” And then I took her into Mr. Craig’s room, and she sat down, and said what wet weather we were having, and I tried to talk to her. But she was too beautiful. I could not help thinking all the time that my hair was grey, and my moustache part grey and part sandy, and that I had my office coat on, with paper shields over my wrist-bands, and that I was only five feet two inches in height. At last I came out of the room, and as I did so all the clerks looked at me, laughing, and I blushed violently. I do not remember ever blushing before.
‘One clerk said jokingly, “Hello, Feather (they called me Feather), what ha’ you been up to in there?”
‘If I had been a bigger man I would have knocked him down.
‘I had never had anything to do with women, except, in a purely business way, with our lady customers. Our lady customers all liked having their cheques cashed, etc., by me, because I was always so strictly polite to them. But, strange to say, I could not be polite to Miss Craig, though never before had I wanted so badly to be polite to any woman.