“Faith, the gorsoons is in a bad state,” said Murphy; “but, boys where will we get a man that's up? Why I know 'tis betther to have anybody nor be without one; but we might kill two birds wid one stone--if we could get a masther that would carry 'Articles,' * an' swear in the boys, from time to time--an' between ourselves, if there's any danger of the hemp, we may as well lay it upon strange shoulders.”
* A copy of the Whiteboy oath and regulations.
“Ay, but since Corrigan swung for the Aagint,” replied Delaney, “they're a little modest in havin' act or part wid us; but the best plan is to get an advartisement wrote out, an' have it posted on the chapel door.”
This hint was debated with much earnestness; but as they were really anxious to have a master--in the first place, for the simple purpose of educating their children; and in the next, for filling the situation of director and regulator of their illegal Ribbon meetings--they determined on penning an advertisement, according to the suggestion of Delaney. After drinking another bottle, and amusing themselves with some further chat, one of the Dolans undertook to draw up the advertisement, which ran as follows:--
“_Notes to Schoolmasthers, and to all others whom it may consarn_.
“For the nabourhood and the vircinity of the Townland of Findramore, in the Parish of Aughindrum, in the Barony of Lisnamoghry, County of Sligo, Province of Connaught, Ireland.
“Take Notes--That any Schoolmaster who understands Spellin' gramatically--Readin' and Writin', in the raal way, accordin' to the Dixonary--Arithmatick, that is to say, the five common rules, namely, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division--and addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, of Dives's denominations. Also reduction up and down--cross multiplication of coin--the Rule of Three Direck--the Rule of Three in verse--the double Rule of Three--Frackshins taught according to the vulgar and decimatin' method; and must be well practised to tache the Findramore boys how to manage the Scuffle.
** The Scuffle was an exercise in fractions, illustrated by a quarrel between the first four letters of the alphabet, who went to loggerheads about a sugar-plum. A, for instance, seized upon three-fourths of it; but B snapped two-thirds of what he had got, and put it into his hat; C then knocked off his hat, and as worthy Mr. Gough says, “to Work they went.” After kicking and cuffing each other in prime style, each now losing and again gaining alternately, the question is wound up by requiring the pupil to ascertain what quantity of the sugar-plum each had at the close.