The possum iz a lonesum and joyless vagabond, living just near enuff to the smoke ov a chimbly tew pick up a transient goslin or a ten dollar bill, or ennything else that aint stuck fast.
Thare iz only one man in this visionary world who seems tew hav an affinity, ov a moral natur, for the possum, and that iz a darkey. They are the nigger's poultry and roast lamb.
The possum, in poor condishun, is az phull ov phatt as a tallo kandle in the month ov august, but having et possum miself, and biled awl from necessity, i am full ov the opinyun that between the two mi choice would be never agin to take either.
Possums alwus hav twins when they hav ennything, and sumtimes an extra one, and they suckle their yung on an entire different principal from the goose.
Their skins are a subject of traffick, and are worth in market from nine to ten cents a piece, provided the tail is amputated. A possum's tail iz not only worthless, but iz a damage to any enterprizing man.
Theze skins are colored and made into mink muffs, and sold for twenty-five dollars a head, tew thoze whoze early edukashun has bin neglekted.
Thare iz only one thing about a possum's skin different from a hoss hide, they don't shed their hair, evry hair is drove in and clinched on tuther side.
Possum's hav butiful white natral teeth, and their mouth iz az full ov them az a kow hide boot iz ov shu pegs.
But say what yu will about theze comick geniuses ov natur, they hav got two things that they own and no other animul, feathered, or hairy, possesses them so mutch.
If a possum thinks he kant reach hiz hole, in the hollo ov the tree, tew eskape a wandering dog or a stray nigger, he lays himself down level on the opposite side ov hiz belly, and dies az ded az a two dollar watch.
The dog will smell ov hiz corpse and pass on, the nigger will rool him over, pheal ov hiz phatt, and konkluding that "dis possum hab been eating pizen;" take him by the tail and send him buzzing into a brush heep.
Many a possum haz saved hiz life, and hiz phatt, bi thus loozeing it.
I hav often killed them with a klub, sufficiently dead enuff tew bury, and hiding behind a tree, fur a fu minnitts, hav seen them born agin, and sneak oph into the underbrush.