Mothers can't strike, or unionise, or make demonsterations. The bloke 'as got the bulge on them. Now girls in situations, Like you and me, POLL, _'as_ a chance of larky nights and jolly days, Along of arter bizness 'ours, and, now and then, the 'olidays.
But 'twixt the cradle and the tub, the old man and 'er needle, A married woman's tied up tight. Yus, MICK may spoon and wheedle, But when a woman's got four kids, bad 'ealth, and toke for tiffin, Then marriage _is_ a failure, POLL, I give yer the straight griffin.
The goodies slate us shop-girls sharp, say married life or sarvice Are more _respectabler_. Oh lor! Just look at poor JANE JARVIS! She were a dasher, JENNY were, 'er fringe and feathers took it, And now--'er only 'ope's that BILL may tire of 'er and 'ook it.
You know that purple hostrich plume she were so proud of, POLLY! I bought it on 'er for five bob larst week, and it looks jolly In my new 'at. But as she sat a snivellin' o'er that dollar, Thinks I if this is married life 'ARRIET'S not game for collar.
She looked so suety and sad, and all them golden tresses She was so proud of when it ran to smart new 'ats and dresses, Was all tight knotted round 'er knob like oakum on a mop, POLL. Her bright blue eyes in mourning, and--well, there, I couldn't stop, POLL.
Labour? Well yus, the best of hus must work; yer carn't git quit of it; And you and me, POLL, like the rest, must do our little bit of it. But oh, I loves my _freedom_, POLL, my hevenings hoff is 'eaven; But wives and slavies ain't allowed even one day in seven.
Jigger the men! SAM spouts and shouts about the 'Onest Worker. That always means a Man, of course--_he's_ a smart Man, the shirker! But when a Man lives upon his wife, and skulks around his diggings, Who is the "'Onest Worker" then?--Yours truly,
FROM GRAVE TO GAY; OR, THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
DASH BLANK was a genius. He had been an immense success at school, and had done admirably at the University. He then came up to town and tried many things. He was a poet, a musician, an artist, an inventor. And everyone he knew, said it was absolutely wonderful, and that he should make a fortune. But just at the moment he had a fair income, which had been left to him by his deceased relative, and there was no occasion to augment his means. On the contrary, if anything, his accomplishments were rather a loss to him than a gain. So the situation existed for a time.