“Come, come, Tom, this is not manly; bear up bravely, bear up with courage, man. You used to say you had plenty of pluck if it were to be tried.”
“So I thought I had, sir, but it has all left me;” and he sobbed as if his heart was breaking. “But I believe I could bear anything but this,” said he, in a voice shaken by convulsive throes. “It is the disgrace,--that 's what unmans me.”
“Take a glass of wine, collect yourself, and tell me all about it.”
“No, sir. No wine, thank you; give me a glass of water. There, I am better now; my brain is not so hot. You are very good to me, Mr. Conyers, but it 's the last time I'll ever ask it,--the very last time, sir; but I 'll remember it all my life.”
“If you give way in this fashion, Tom, I 'll not think you the stout-hearted fellow I once did.”
“No, sir, nor am I. I 'll never be the same again. I feel it here. I feel as if something gave, something broke.” And he laid his hand over his heart and sighed heavily.
“Well, take your own time about it, Tom, and let me hear if I cannot be of use to you.”
“No, sir, not now. Neither you nor any one else can help me now. It's all over, Mr. Conyers,--it's all finished.”
“And so, as I thought it would n't do for one like me to be seen speaking to you before people, I stole away and climbed over the barrack-wall. I cut my hand on the glass, too, but it's nothing. And here I am, and here's the money you gave me; I've no need of it now.” And as he laid some crumpled bank-notes on the table, his overcharged heart again betrayed him, and he burst into tears. “Yes, sir, that's what you gave me for the College, but I was rejected.”
“Rejected, Tom! How was that? Be calm, my poor fellow, and tell me all about it quietly.”
“I'll try, sir, I will, indeed; and I'll tell you nothing but the truth, that you may depend upon.” He took a great drink of water, and went on. “If there was one man I was afraid of in the world, it was Surgeon Asken, of Mercer's Hospital. I used to be a dresser there, and he was always angry with me, exposing me before the other students, and ridiculing me, so that if anything was done badly in the wards, he 'd say, 'This is some of Master Dill's work, is n't it?' Well, sir, would you believe it, on the morning I went up for my examination, Dr. Coles takes ill, and Surgeon Asken is called on to replace him. I did n't know it till I was sent for to go in, and my head went round, and I could n't see, and a cold sweat came over me, and I was so confused that when I got into the room I went and sat down beside the examiners, and never knew what they were laughing at.