The Michelangelo phenomenon is an interpersonal process observed by psychologists in which close, romantic partners influence or 'sculpt' each other. Over time, the Michelangelo effect causes individuals to develop towards what they consider their "ideal selves". This happens because their partner sees them and acts around them in ways that promote this ideal.
The phenomenon is referred to in contemporary marital therapy. Recent popular work in couples therapy and conflict resolution points to the importance of the Michelangelo phenomenon. Diana Kirschner reported that the phenomenon was common among couples reporting high levels of marital satisfaction.
It is the opposite of the Blueberry phenomenon "in which interdependent individuals bring out the worst in each other." The Michelangelo phenomenon is related to the looking-glass self concept introduced by Charles Horton Cooley in his 1902 work Human Nature and the Social Order.
This phenomenon has various positive effects for both the individual and the couple. Various factors impact components and processes involved in the phenomenon.
Description of the model
Overview
The Michelangelo phenomenon describes a three step process where close partners shape each other so as to bring forth one another’s ideal selves. This ideal self is conceptualized as a collection of an individual’s “dreams and aspirations” or “the constellation of skills, traits, and resources that an individual ideally wishes to acquire.” These span different domains, such as one’s profession, relationship, health, personality. An example of an ideal self is one that includes “completing medical school, becoming more sociable, or learning to speak fluent Dutch.” This is different from the actual self, which consists of attributes the self currently possesses and the ought self, which consists of attributes the self feels obligated to possess. Note that in this article, the "self" refers to a specific, target individual.
This phenomenon is significant given that the self does not experience growth in complete isolation of the influence of others. Yet, prior to 1999, much research on self growth consisted of examining individual processes. Research into the influence of others was neglected, even though those with whom the self interacts most regularly can lead to more constant, stable changes in disposition and behavior. The general topic of growth is itself worth studying given that people are motivated to work toward it.
The three core parts of the phenomenon are as follows: partner perceptual affirmation, partner behavioral affirmation, and self-movement toward the ideal self.
Components of the model
Partner affirmation appears in the model as two different parts. Partner affirmation names how partners bring about aspects of the ideal self from the self. Partner perceptual affirmation describes how a partner’s views of the self aligns with the self’s view of their ideal self. A partner will show greater partner perceptual affirmation if they believe the self to be, or to be capable of being, the ideal self. In other words, Jay will show more perceptual affirmation if he sees his partner Kaylee, whose ideal self includes being competent as piano, as actually competent at piano or as capable of being competent at piano. Partner behavioral affirmation describes how a partner acts in a way that aligns with the ideal self. A partner, such as Jay, will show more partner behavioural affirmation if they act in a way such that Kaylee’s ideal self can come forward, such as if he drives Kaylee to piano lessons. Self-movement toward the ideal self describes how the distance between the self and ideal self closes. Kaylee will experience self-movement toward the ideal self when she becomes more competent at piano.
Note that both perceptual and behavioural aspects of partner affirmation can take place consciously or unconsciously. For example, someone with a partner who wants to be more sociable may consciously encourage them to spend more time with their friends, in an effort to help them meet this goal. This is conscious behavioural affirmation. On the other hand, knowing that sociability is a goal of their partner, someone may feel less apprehension when organising a social gathering in their space. This would inadvertently give the partner an opportunity to socialise and is an example of unconscious behavioural affirmation.