_Tom._ What was the matter, was you guilty of nothing?
_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I did harm to nobody? but fancied an old gentleman’s gun, and afterwards made it my own.
_Tom._ Very well boy, and did you keep it so?
_Teag._ Keep it, I would have kept it with all my heart while I lived, death itself could not have parted us, but the old rogue, the gentleman, being a justice of the peace himself, had me tried for the rights of it, and how I came by it, and so took it again.
_Tom._ And how did you clear yourself without punishment?
_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I told him a parcel of lies, but they would not believe me; for I said that I got it from my father when it was a little pistol, and I had keeped it till it had grown a gun, and was designed to use it well until it had grown a big cannon, and then sell it to the military. They all fell a laughing at me as I had been a fool, and bade me go home to my mother and clean the potatoes.
_Tom._ How long is it since you left your own country?
_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I do not mind whether it be a fortnight or four months, but I think myself, it is a long time; they tell me my mother is dead since, but I won’t believe it, until I get a letter from her own hand, for she is a very good scholar, suppose she can neither write nor read.
_Teag._ Ay, that I was, and in Scotland too.
_Tom._ And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland?
_Teag._ They were that kind, that they kick’t my arse for me, and the reason was because I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the company, though the landlord and his two sons got mouthful about of it; they would have me pay it all, tho’ I did not drink it all, and I told them it was a trick upon travellers, first to drink his liquor, and then to kick him out of doors.
_Tom._ I really think they have used you badly, but could you not beat them?
_Teag._ That’s what I did, beat them all to their own contentment; but there was one of them stronger than me, who would have killed me, if the other two had not pulled me away, and I had to run for it, till his passion was over; then they made us drink and gree again; we shook hands, and made a bargain, never to harm other more; but this bargain did not last long, for, as I was kissing his mouth, by shaint Patrick, I bit his nose, which caused him to beat me very sore for my pains.