When i see so mutch pholks, rushing into theory pharming, az thare iz, (now daze) and so menny ov them rushing out agin, i think ov that remarkable piece ov skriptur, which remarks, "menny are called, but few are chosen."
I onst took a pharm, on shares miself, and run her on sum theorys, and the thing figured up this way, i dun all the work, I furnished all the seed, and manure, had the ague 9 months, out of 12, for mi share ov the proffits, and the other phellow, paid the taxes on the pharm, for hiz share.
By mutual konsent, i quit the farm, at the end of the year.
What i kno about pharmin, aint wuth bragging about, and i feel it mi duty to state, for the benefit ov mi kreditors, that if they ever expekt me tew pay 5 cents on a dollar, they musn't start me in the theoretikal pharmin employ.
If a man really iz anxious tew make munny on a pharm, the less theory he lays in the better, and he must do pretty mutch all the work hisself, and support hiz family on what he kant sell, and go ragged enuff all the time tew hunt bees.
I kno ov menny farmers, who are so afflikted with superstishun, that they wont plant a single bean, only in the last quarter of the moon, and i kno ov others so pregnant with science, that they wont set a gate post, until they hav had the ground analized, bi sum professor ov anatomy, tew see if the earth haz got the right kind of ingredience for post-holes.
This iz what i call running science into the ground.
The fakt ov it iz, that theorys, ov all kind, work well, except in praktiss: they are too often designed tew do the work ov praktiss.
Thare aint no theory in brakeing a mule, only tew go at him, with a klub in yure hand, and sum blood in yure eye, and brake him, just as yu would split a log.
What i kno about pharming, aint wuth mutch enny how, but I undertook teu brake a kicking heifer once.
I read a treatiss on the subjekt, and phollowed the direkshuns cluss, and got knokt endwaze, in about 5 minnits.
I then sot down, and thought the thing over.
I made up mi mind that the phellow who wrote the treatiss waz more in the treatiss bizzness than he waz in the kicking heifer trade.
I cum tew the konklushun that what he knu about milking kiking heifers, he had larnt by leaning over a barn yard fence, and writing the thing up.