"One night, in an evil hour, Moses popped up, as usual, from his seat in meeting, intending to give an extra touch to his devotional exercises, as he contemplated taking a longer walk than usual with little Widow Gray. So he told 'the brethren,' (through his nose,) that 'if ever there _was_ a sinner that deserved a _very_ uncomfortable place hereafter, it was _him_--(_Moses!_)--that it was a marvel to him that he was permitted to cumber the earth, that his sins were more than the hairs on his head,' (and, by the way, that was a very moderate computation!)
"So Jeremiah Jones seemed to think; for he 'riz' very demurely, and remarked that 'he had been brother Moses Madison's neighbor for many years, and was qualified to endorse that little statement of his, with regard to himself, as _substantially correct in every particular_!' Moses fainted!"
TOM VERSUS FAN; OR, A LITTLE TALK ABOUT LITTLE THINGS.
In the sketch thus entitled, we are once more presented with a life picture, a veritable transcript of the writer's own mind. It will be seen that Fanny is _au fait_ in the mysteries of coquetry; understands the use of long dresses, and "gaiter-boots" to perfection. Just listen:--
"'Well, Fan; any room for _me_ here?' said Tom Grey, as he seated himself in a large arm-chair in his sister's boudoir.
"'Possession is nine points of the law, Tom; it's no use answering in the negative _now_.'
"'I'm in a very distracted state of mind, sis, and I've come to make a clean breast of it to you.'
"'Mercy on us! if you are going to confess your sins, I shall beat a retreat; the catalogue is longer than my patience.'
"'Listen; you know yesterday was one of my days for walking?'
"'Yes; and a man _must_ use his eyes when the gods favor him. Just before me, in Washington-street, I saw _such_ a pair of feet! Now you know pretty feet are my passion, and 'Cinderella's' were not a circumstance to these. So I travelled on behind them, in a state of mute ecstacy, and they might have led me to the Dead Sea, and I shouldn't have stopped to ask any questions!'
"'_Face?_--I didn't think of such a thing. _I_ shouldn't have cared if she hadn't any face. Of course it was pretty; nature wouldn't have perfected those continuations to that degree and left--but no matter, they were 'the _greatest_' feet for _little feet_, I ever saw. All of a sudden my goddess vanished into a shoe-store, and I stood gaping in at the window and wishing I was the clerk. Presently, the young man handed her a pair of boots, and going round the counter, down he goes on one knee, and, by the blessed saints! if _he didn't take that dear little foot in his lap and try on those boots_! The rascal was twice as long about it as he need be, too, for after it was all laced on, he kept 'smoothing out the wrinkles,' as _he_ said, 'on the instep.' St. Crispin! _wasn't_ I furious!'