If that you chance to passe there, As doth the man of blacking; He insults like a puttock O're the prey of the buttock With a whip't a ... sends him packing. Still doth he cry, etc.
For when this well truss't trounser Into the school doth enter With his napkin at his nose And his orange stuft with cloves On any ... he'l venter. Still doth, etc.
A French-man voyd of English Enquiring for Paul's steeple His _Pardonnez-moy_ He counted a toy, For he whip't him before all people. Still doth he cry, etc.
A Welsh-man once was whip't there Untill he did bes... him His _Cuds-pluttera-nail_ Could not prevail For he whip't the Cambro-Britan. Still doth he cry, etc.
[977]A captain of the train'd-band; Yclept[978] Cornelius Wallis; He whip't him so sore Both behind and before He notch't his .... like tallyes. Still doth he cry, etc.
For a piece of beef and turnip, Neglected, with a cabbage, He took up the pillion Of his bouncing mayd Jillian; And sowc't her like a baggage. Still doth he cry, etc.
A porter came in rudely And disturb'd the humming concord, He took-up his frock And he payd his nock And sawc't him with his owne cord. Still doth he cry, etc.
Gill upon Gill[979], or Gill's ... uncas'd, unstript, unbound.
'Sir, Did _you_ me this epistle send, Which is so vile and lewdly pen'd, In which no line I can espie Of sense or true orthographie? So slovenly it goes, In verse and prose, For which I must pull down your hose.' 'O good sir!' then cry'd he, 'In private let it be, And doe not sawce me openly.' 'Yes, sir, I'le sawce you openly Before Sound[980] and the company; And that none of thee may take heart Though thou art a batchelour of Art, Though thou hast payd thy fees For thy degrees: Yet I will make thy ... to sneeze. And now I doe begin To thresh it on thy skin For now my hand is in, is in. First, for the themes which thou me sent Wherin much nonsense thou didst vent, And for that barbarous piece of Greek For which in Gartheus[981] thou didst seeke. And for thy faults not few, In tongue Hebrew, For which a grove of birch is due. Therfore me not beseech To pardon now thy breech For I will be thy ...-leech, ...-leech. Next for the offense that thou didst give When as in Trinity thou didst live, And hadst thy ... in Wadham College mult For bidding sing _Quicunque vult_[982] And for thy blanketting[983] And many such a thing For which thy name in towne doth ring And none deserves so ill To heare as bad as Gill-- Thy name it is a proverb still, Thou vented[984] hast such rascall geer. Next thou a preacher were. For which the French-men all cry Fie! To heare such pulpitt-ribauldrie[985]. And sorry were to see So worthy a degree So ill bestowed on thee. But glad am I to say The Masters made the<e> stay Till thou in quarto[986] didst them pray. But now remaines the vilest thing, The alehouse barking 'gainst the king And all his brave and noble peeres; For which thou ventredst for thy eares. And if thou hadst thy right, Cutt off they had been quite And thou hadst been a rogue in sight. But though thou mercy find Yet I'le not be so kind But I'le jerke thee behind, behind.'