_1st Lady_. What a distressing circumstance!
_Mr. H_. A Baronet at the table, seeing my dilemma, jogged my elbow; and a good-natured Duchess, who does everything with a grace peculiar to herself, trod on my toes at that instant: this brought me to myself, and--covered with blushes, and pitied by all the ladies--I withdrew.
_1st Lady_. How charmingly he tells a story.
_Mr. H_. Lord Squandercounsel, who is my particular friend, was pleased to rally me in his inimitable way upon it next day. I shall never forget a sensible thing he said on the occasion--speaking of absence of mind, my foible--says he, my dear Hogs--
_Mr. H_. My dear Hogsflesh--my name--(_here a universal scream_)--O my cursed unfortunate tongue! H. I mean--where was I?
_3rd Lady_. A smelling-bottle--look to Miss Melesinda. Poor thing! it is no wonder. You had better keep off from her, Mr. Hogsflesh, and not be pressing about her in her circumstances.
_1st Gent_. Good time of day to you, Mr.Hogsflesh.
_2nd Gent_. The compliments of the season to you, Mr. Hogsflesh.
_Mr.H_. This is too much--flesh and blood cannot endure it.
1_st Gent_. He looks as fierce as a hog in armor.
_Mr. H_. A hog!--Madam!--(_here he severally accosts the Ladies, who by turns repel him_.)
1_st Lady_. Extremely obliged to you for your attentions; but don't want a partner.
2_d Lady_. Greatly flattered by your preference: but believe I shall remain single.
3_d Lady_. Shall always acknowledge your politeness; but have no thoughts of altering my condition.
4_th Lady_. Always be happy to respect you as a friend; but you must not look for anything further.
5_th Lady_. No doubt of your ability to make any woman happy; but have no thoughts of changing my name.
6_th Lady_. Must tell you, Sir, that if, by your insinuations, you think to prevail with me, you have got the wrong sow by the ear. Does he think any lady would go to pig with him?
_Old Lady_. Must beg you to be less particular in your addresses to me. Does he take me for a Jew, to long after forbidden meats?
_Mr. H_. I shall go mad!--to be refused by old Mother Damnable--she that's so old, nobody knows whether she was ever manned or no, but passes for a maid by courtesy; her juvenile exploits being beyond the farthest stretch of tradition!--Old Mother Damnable!