[372]Alexander stooped, so did his courtiers; Alphonsus turned his head, and so did his parasites. [373]Sabina Poppea, Nero's wife, wore amber-coloured hair, so did all the Roman ladies in an instant, her fashion was theirs. To see men wholly led by affection, admired and censured out of opinion without judgment: an inconsiderate multitude, like so many dogs in a village, if one bark all bark without a cause: as fortune's fan turns, if a man be in favour, or commanded by some great one, all the world applauds him; [374]if in disgrace, in an instant all hate him, and as at the sun when he is eclipsed, that erst took no notice, now gaze and stare upon him. To see a man [375]wear his brains in his belly, his guts in his head, an hundred oaks on his back, to devour a hundred oxen at a meal, nay more, to devour houses and towns, or as those Anthropophagi, [376]to eat one another. To see a man roll himself up like a snowball, from base beggary to right worshipful and right honourable titles, unjustly to screw himself into honours and offices; another to starve his genius, damn his soul to gather wealth, which he shall not enjoy, which his prodigal son melts and consumes in an instant. [377] To see the κακοζηλίαν of our times, a man bend all his forces, means, time, fortunes, to be a favorite's favorite's favorite, &c., a parasite's parasite's parasite, that may scorn the servile world as having enough already. To see an hirsute beggar's brat, that lately fed on scraps, crept and whined, crying to all, and for an old jerkin ran of errands, now ruffle in silk and satin, bravely mounted, jovial and polite, now scorn his old friends and familiars, neglect his kindred, insult over his betters, domineer over all. To see a scholar crouch and creep to an illiterate peasant for a meal's meat; a scrivener better paid for an obligation; a falconer receive greater wages than a student; a lawyer get more in a day than a philosopher in a year, better reward for an hour, than a scholar for a twelvemonth's study; him that can [378]paint Thais, play on a fiddle, curl hair, &c., sooner get preferment than a philologer or a poet. To see a fond mother, like Aesop's ape, hug her child to death, a [379] wittol wink at his wife's honesty, and too perspicuous in all other affairs; one stumble at a straw, and leap over a block; rob Peter, and pay Paul; scrape unjust sums with one hand, purchase great manors by corruption, fraud and cozenage, and liberally to distribute to the poor with the other, give a remnant to pious uses, &c. Penny wise, pound foolish; blind men judge of colours; wise men silent, fools talk; [380] find fault with others, and do worse themselves; [381]denounce that in public which he doth in secret; and which Aurelius Victor gives out of Augustus, severely censure that in a third, of which he is most guilty himself. To see a poor fellow, or an hired servant venture his life for his new master that will scarce give him his wages at year's end; A country colon toil and moil, till and drudge for a prodigal idle drone, that devours all the gain, or lasciviously consumes with fantastical expenses; A noble man in a bravado to encounter death, and for a small flash of honour to cast away himself; A worldling tremble at an executor, and yet not fear hell-fire; To wish and hope for immortality, desire to be happy, and yet by all means avoid death, a necessary passage to bring him to it. To see a foolhardy fellow like those old Danes, qui decollari malunt quam verberari, die rather than be punished, in a sottish humour embrace death with alacrity, yet [382]scorn to lament his own sins and miseries, or his clearest friends' departures. To see wise men degraded, fools preferred, one govern towns and cities, and yet a silly woman overrules him at home; [383]Command a province, and yet his own servants or children prescribe laws to him, as Themistocles' son did in Greece; [384]What I will (said he) my mother will, and what my mother will, my father doth. To see horses ride in a coach, men draw it; dogs devour their masters; towers build masons; children rule; old men go to school; women wear the breeches; [385]sheep demolish towns, devour men, &c. And in a word, the world turned upside downward. O viveret Democritus. [386]To insist in every particular were one of Hercules' labours, there's so many ridiculous instances, as motes in the sun. Quantum est in rebus inane? (How much vanity there is in things!) And who can speak of all? Crimine ab uno disce omnes, take this for a taste. But these are obvious to sense, trivial and well known, easy to be discerned.