_Aug. 25._ _Friday._--This day has taught me, that if I would not be entirely miserable, I must give up my whole time, and soul, and thoughts to my Lord; for if I look off him, I feel bordering on a gulf, the depth of which I cannot fathom. Oh! may the Holy blessed Spirit give me such views of the graciousness and exceeding riches of my Lord, that I may really feel, that in having him, I have all things. He alone is the same, yesterday, to-day, and for ever. All created things, the nearest, the dearest, the most beloved in the moment of greatest need and greatest felicity, elude the grasp, and flee away; but he abides always. I desire, therefore, the Lord enabling me, to give myself altogether to the preparation for my future labours more diligently than I have ever yet done; that though desolate on earth, I may hold the freest and sweetest communion with heaven; for of all preparation I feel the greatest, the most needful to be, that of the heart; in order to the constant sensible entertainment of Christ, from whose nearness all the spiritual faculties derive the sap and the fruit bearing strength.
_Aug. 28._--To-day I feel the Lord has given me a victory, by turning my thoughts off my miserable self and temporary circumstances, to the contemplation of the happiness of those who are gone before me, and by enabling me to feel set off on my journey to meet them, and drawing every day one day's journey nearer, while I endeavour to forget I had ever been happy in domestic life, or ever possessed those dear objects; but nature was often too strong for me, as I dwelt on their felicity, and my journeying towards them daily, whether the Lord brings them with him, or I go before he comes. This hope does comfort me, for it is a real abiding truth, whether I drink the sweets of the consolation from it or not. I therefore now purpose, the Lord enabling me, after nearly six months interruption, to return to the studies preparatory to my future duties as an itinerating missionary. To this service I ever thought the Lord had called me, and for this I now see all his trials have been fitting me, for I am without a home and without a tie in the world, but my dear Lord's service. These trials have made me ready for entering on my work to any extent; as my dear little boys will no longer confine me to one place, but will soon be of an age to move about with me; or should their choice render other arrangements necessary, the Lord will open a way for them likewise.