Soon as we got started he tuk me on his knee, & got to huggin me round the piller slips & sheets and kissin my left eer, and gettin otherwise fermillyer, so I seen the moment had cum for me to be myself, so I lifted up my masque. Soon as he cot site of my face he xclaimed: “Oh! the Devil!”
Then, tellin the driver to stop the horses, he lifted up his foot and gin me a kick wot landed rite on ma's pachwurk quilt, and sed: “Go to the devil.”
I guess he's mad at me, only he purtends not to be, but that's put on, cos he's frade I'll gin the hull thing away, and then the religus edittur and Mr. Wilson'll hav the laff on him.
The sosighety edittur's report in this mornins _Buster_ says:
“The Parisien Greasette was conseeded by everybodie present to take the onhers of belle of the ball. The knowin ones claim that it was Miss Ellen Terrier, the latest artistick importashun from England, and that Mr. Vandybilt, as the Texas brig-gand, seen her home. If this is a fact, there'll likely be sum domestick thunder flyin round in a uptown manshun.”
THE HORSE REPORTER WANTS A COMPAGNON DE VOYAGE.--THE STRAPPIN YUNG WIDDER, WOT AIN'T ON THE MASH.--SWEET-FORTY MAKES A NUTHER MINNYSTEERIAL SKANDAL.
Our horse reporter is a reglar wimmin hater, and he'd walk round a hull blok, fore he'd meet a gal, wat'd try to flert with him. I guess he's a grass widder that used to hav a woman, wot maid him tow a chock line, and he aint never got no divorse from her yet. His affeckshuns is all lavished on good lookin horses, and he'd giv more for one of them, than he wuld for Lillie Lan-kry or the hull curboodel of perfesshunal buties.
I alwus did think it was a pitty, for a good lookin man like him, not to hav sum wimmin, wot was brakin there harts, and everything for him, so this mornin I sent out notes to a cuppel of gals, wot I thot was warntin to get mashed, tellin them to call at the _Buster_ offis, & ast for the Horse Reporter, 'cos he was ded struk on them, and warnted there compinny, on a trip to Boston tonite.
Bout one 'clock, a grate stout woman, wot looked like a reglar bruisir, cum inter the offis and enquired for the Horse Reporter. I show'd her into his room, and shut the dore, just enuf so as I could see all wot went on.