"If this was the case with the apostle, who sealed his testimony with his life, is it strange that you and I should have hearts full of all abominable things? These realities are cause of deep humility before God, but none of despair or doubt. All are alike guilty and vile, the whole head is sick, and the whole heart unsound; therefore we need a whole Christ to atone for our sin, to cover our naked souls with his imputed righteousness, and to be surety for us; to sanctify us by his Spirit, and prepare us for the purchased inheritance. O try to rest in him: believe it, you are complete in him; give up, my dear friend, poring over and diving into your own heart and frames, and try to trust in an almighty Saviour to save you from foes without and foes within. Read Romaine's Walk and Life of Faith: he himself attained to a high degree of holiness by getting out of himself, and trusting, resting, believing from day to day, for grace, for every duty, as it occurred. The promise runs, 'As thy days so shall thy strength be.'
"I cannot at this distance, and knowing nothing of characters, offer you any advice with respect to outward means; but if you know any truly pious, spiritual minister, I should think it your duty to lay open your mind to him. You may find in books matter as good as any man living can speak; but it is the Lord's appointed way, and he often honors his servants, his ministers, by making them messengers of peace and comfort to his children. 'Are any sick, let them call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over them.' See how the Christians of old associated with one another. I am now doubly yours, etc.,
"Eternity seems very near. I have often thought so without any visible cause. Well, it will come; a few more rolling years, months, weeks, or days will assuredly land me on Canaan's happy shore. Then shall I know and enjoy what ear hath not heard, eye seen, nor heart conceived, even the blessedness that is at God's right hand. I have desired, though I know not that I have asked, to glorify God on my death-bed, and to leave my testimony at the threshold of eternity, that not one word of all that my God has promised has failed. He has been--O what has he not been?--in all my trials, all my afflictions, all my temptations, all my wanderings, all my backslidings, he has been all that the well-ordered covenant has said. Let this Bible tell what God in Christ, by his Spirit and his providence, has been to me; and let the same Bible say what he will be to me 'when flesh and heart fails;' yea, when 'the place that now knows me shall know me no more.' Perhaps when the messenger does come I shall not know him, but depart in silence. Well, as the Lord wills; he knows best how to glorify himself. Jesus shall trim my lamp and perfect his image on my soul, sensible or insensible. I shall enter into his presence, washed in his blood, clothed in his righteousness, and my sanctification perfected. I shall 'see him as he is,' and be like him.