Henceforth I saw Kusum come daily to bow at his feet. When he expounded the holy books, she stood in a corner listening to him. After finishing his morning service, he used to call her to himself and speak on religion. She could not have understood it all; but, listening attentively in silence, she tried to understand it. As he directed her, so she acted implicitly. She daily served at the temple--ever alert in the god's worship--gathering flowers for the _puja_, and drawing water from the Ganges to wash the temple floor.
The winter was drawing to its close. We had cold winds. But now and then in the evening the warm spring breeze would blow unexpectedly from the south; the sky would lose its chilly aspect; pipes would sound, and music be heard in the village after a long silence. The boatmen would set their boats drifting down the current, stop rowing, and begin to sing the songs of Krishna. This was the season.
Just then I began to miss Kusum. For some time she had given up visiting the temple, the _ghāt_, or the Sanyasi.
What happened next I do not know, but after a while the two met together on my steps one evening.
With downcast looks, Kusum asked: 'Master, did you send for me?'
'Yes, why do I not see you? Why have you grown neglectful of late in serving the gods?'
Half averting her face, she replied: 'I am a sinner, Master, and hence I have failed in the worship.'
The Sanyasi said: 'Kusum, I know there is unrest in your heart.'
She gave a slight start, and, drawing the end of her sári over her face, she sat down on the step at the Sanyasi's feet, and wept.
He moved a little away, and said: 'Tell me what you have in your heart, and I shall show you the way to peace.'
She replied in a tone of unshaken faith, stopping now and then for words: 'If you bid me, I must speak out. But, then, I cannot explain it clearly. You, Master, must have guessed it all. I adored one as a god, I worshipped him, and the bliss of that devotion filled my heart to fulness. But one night I dreamt that the lord of my heart was sitting in a garden somewhere, clasping my right hand in his left, and whispering to me of love. The whole scene did not appear to me at all strange. The dream vanished, but its hold on me remained. Next day when I beheld him he appeared in another light than before. That dream-picture continued to haunt my mind. I fled far from him in fear, and the picture clung to me. Thenceforth my heart has known no peace,--all has grown dark within me!'