=Advertisements and Paragraphs Extraordinary.=
EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCE.—Yesterday, a shabbily-dressed, half-genteel, poetical-looking sort of man, suddenly fell down in one of the gin-palaces in St. Giles's; after having, as it was supposed, put an end to his existence, by swallowing a quartern of _Deady's_ Best. On taking him, however, to the Station House, and administering large doses of cold water (to which his stomach manifested a particular antipathy by repeatedly serving it with an ejectment), he was sufficiently recovered to give some account of himself; but the following lines, written on the back of a dirty tobacco paper, found in his pocket, will sufficiently explain the cause of the rash act. It will be seen that he was a man of _letters_, tho' (judging from his reservedness) of very few _words_.
DEAR BOB,—I know that U'll XQQQ The wailings of a mournful MUUU. While U, my friend, are at your EEE, My creditors I can't apPPP: I'm CD,—drooping to DK, With not a sous my debts to pay. So lean a wight you ne'er did C,— I look just like an F-I-G. My purse is MT, it is true; But don't suppose I NV you: I O U nothing but good-will, And that I mean 2 O U still. But if my motive U'd descry For writing this, I'll tell U Y: B 4 'tis long, I hope for peace; And when U hear of my DCCC, I beg, to show your love for me, U'll write your Poet's L-E-G. I'm sure that U'll indite it well, For in such matters you XL. Say, "E was once a R T fellow, "But all his 'green leaves soon turn'd yellow,' "He didn't mind his PPP and QQQ, "But Plutus left, to woo the MUUU: "And tho' he courted all the IX, "He found them far too poor to dine; "Nay, more, the very Graces III "Could scarce afford a cup of T. "So here he lies, for want of pelf, "Who'd but one NME,—himself."
AN EXTRAORDINARY TURNIP, of the Dwarf species, was lately dug out of a field on the estate of Major Longbow, who caused the inside to be scooped out, and gave a grand entertainment therein to a party of 250 persons.—_American Paper._
FALLS OF NIAGARA.—Congress has passed a resolution that a premium should be offered for a machine by which the Falls of Niagara might be rendered portable, to afford those persons who live at a distance the opportunity of viewing them at their own houses.—_American Paper._