"No, thank you, sir, got some money of my own."
A young mule had been shipped on a freight train to a farmer in Fauquier County, Virginia. A tag, with shipping directions thereon, had been tied securely around his neck with a rope, but, in the course of the journey, the mule’s hunger, and natural depravity had tempted him to chew up both tag and rope. This gave the negro brakeman great concern. He hurried to the conductor in the caboose.
"Marse George," he cried, "for de Lawd, where yo’ specs to put off dat mule? ’E done eat up where ’es gwine."
Little Margie had spent all her life in the country and, living near the mountains, had frequently heard of the large snakes to be found in the many holes and crevices of their rocky slopes. Her mother, who was greatly afraid of the reptiles, had one day remarked that she could see no use for such loathsome creatures and wondered why they were created.
The next morning Margie sat in a brown study, her chin upon her hand. Presently, looking up, she said:
"When He got through makin’ the world it was full of holes, so He made snakes to fill up the holes," the child explained.
"Mr. Blank, can you tell us what electricity is?"
Mr. Blank squirmed in his seat, hemmed and hawed for a time, and finally admitted:
"I did know, professor, but I’ve forgotten."
The professor gazed at the student with an expression of unspeakable sorrow. Then he said sadly:
"Mr. Blank, you do not know what you have done. Alas! what a sad loss to science! You are the only man that ever lived who has known what electricity is--and you have forgotten."
A young woman who had recently taken charge of a small kindergarten, entered a trolley car the other day, and as she took her seat smiled pleasantly at a gentleman sitting opposite. He raised his hat, but it was evident that he did not know her.
Realizing her error, she said, in tones audible throughout the entire car:
"Oh, please excuse me! I mistook you for the father of two of my children!"
A darky preacher was lost in the happy selection of his text, which he repeated in vigorous accents of pleading.
"Oh, bredern, at de las’ day dere’s gwine to be sheep an’ dere’s gwine to be goats. Who’s gwine to be de sheep, an’ who’s gwine to be de goats?"