"Or is it sacrilege to touch it?" she asked teasingly. She laid it on Esther's lap.
"Well, I couldn't help seeing the writing," she said, after a moment. "And, do you know, it's awfully like Micky's! If I hadn't known it wasn't his I should have declared it was," she said rather disconnectedly.
"Well, it isn't his, anyway," she said sharply.
Esther wrote to Mrs. Ashton that same night and told her she must regretfully decline the offered position; she gave no reason, but she permitted herself a little sigh of regret when the letter was dispatched.
She would like to have gone; she would like to have seen Raymond's home and to have got to know his mother, but it was his wish that she should not go.
She tried to believe that she was happy in the knowledge of his love, but in her heart she knew that she was restless and dissatisfied.
"If I had something to do I should be ever so much happier," she told June again and again, and June quite agreed.
"It must be awful, killing time," she said. "When I think of the life I used to lead at home before I started trying to improve people's complexions, I wonder I didn't go mad. Nothing but silly tea-parties and scandal.... Ugh! But all the same Micky and I agreed that you wouldn't like being at Mrs. Ashton's."
"Micky!" said Esther scornfully. "As if I care what he thinks...."
"Oh, all right," she said smoothly. "I suppose I may mention his name sometimes, mayn't I?" She began to laugh. "Do you know that for once in my life I've been totally wrong with regard to you two? I was so sure you'd more than like each other--I even thought it quite possible that Micky might fall in love with you--you're so exactly suited to him."
"I'm glad you think so," said Esther drily. "I'm sorry I can't oblige you by agreeing."
June said "Humph!" She yawned. "All the same," she added after a moment, "I'm convinced that things would have been different if it hadn't been for that phantom lover of yours; you're so crazy about him." There was a touch of exasperation in her voice.
"It's absurd of you to talk like this," she said. "Mr. Mellowes is the last man on earth I should ever have looked at, even supposing Raymond...." She had spoken the name before she was aware of it; in her momentary flash of temper the secret she had so carefully guarded escaped her.