A Lawyer is an honest Employment, so is mine. Like me too he acts in a double Capacity, both against Rogues and for ’em; for ’tis but fitting that we should protect and encourage Cheats, since we live by them.
_Filch_. Sir, _Black Moll_ hath sent word her Trial comes on in the Afternoon, and she hopes you will order Matters so as to bring her off.
_Peachum_. As the Wench is very active and industrious, you may satisfy her that I’ll soften the Evidence.
_Filch_. _Tom Gagg_, Sir, is found guilty.
_Peachum_. A lazy Dog! When I took him the time before, I told him what he would come to if he did not mend his Hand. This is Death without Reprieve. I may venture to Book him [_writes_.] For _Tom Gagg_, forty Pounds. Let _Betty Sly_ know that I’ll save her from Transportation, for I can get more by her staying in _England_.
_Filch_. _Betty_ hath brought more Goods into our Lock to-year than any five of the Gang; and in truth, ’tis a pity to lose so good a Customer.
_Peachum_. If none of the Gang take her off, she may, in the common course of Business, live a Twelve-month longer. I love to let Women scape. A good Sportsman always lets the Hen Partridges fly, because the Breed of the Game depends upon them. Besides, here the Law allows us no Reward; there is nothing to be got by the Death of Women—except our Wives.
_Filch_. Without dispute, she is a fine Woman! ’Twas to her I was obliged for my Education, and (to say a bold Word) she hath trained up more young Fellows to the Business than the Gaming table.
_Peachum_. Truly, _Filch_, thy Observation is right. We and the Surgeons are more beholden to Women than all the Professions besides.
Filch. _’Tis Woman that seduces all Mankind_, _By her we first were taught the wheedling Arts_: _Her very Eyes can cheat_; _when most she’s kind_, _She tricks us of our Money with our Hearts_. _For her_, _like Wolves by Night we roam for Prey_, _And practise ev’ry Fraud to bribe her Charms_; _For Suits of Love_, _like Law_, _are won by Pay_, _And Beauty must be fee’d into our Arms_.
_Peachum_. But make haste to _Newgate_, Boy, and let my Friends know what I intend; for I love to make them easy one way or other.
_Filch_. When a Gentleman is long kept in suspence, Penitence may break his Spirit ever after. Besides, Certainty gives a Man a good Air upon his Trial, and makes him risk another without Fear or Scruple. But I’ll away, for ’tis a Pleasure to be the Messenger of Comfort to Friends in Affliction.