There were some _butcher's_ daughters, wondrous proud Of their sweet persons!--pride I must condemn-- Who once or twice were heard to say aloud, That nothing in the ship was _meet_ for them.
Now the good vessel, keeping on her way, Had one effect on Andrew and his wife; Who were, not sick to death, as some would say-- But sick enough to make them sick of life.
All this to Andrew and his Spouse, I trow, Was novelty--and yet it had no charms, For both, before the night, were heard to vow They wished they had not left the Mason's Arms.
Close to the rails they stood--and you might see Their notions of delight began to waver; When Andrew's wife fell over in the sea, And might have drown'd; but Andrew shouted "Save her!"
Perhaps you think he jumped into the water; No, gentle reader, no; that would not do: _You_ might have done so for a wife or daughter, But _you_ are _one_, and _you_ and Andrew, _two_.
But some one seeing that he was no lover Of aught save eating, drinking, and his life, Came close behind the man and pushed him over, With "Don't you see, you brute, go save your wife."
Just at the time a little vessel passed, (Andrew had caught his wife)--it was the Percy; The captain thought it best to put about, And _take them in_, for they were crying mercy!
The _Steam-boat_ kept her way, although the wind was bad, Margate they made, the crew cried "That's your sort!" The band struck up a tune, the rest were glad As tipplers would be, to get at the _Port_.
But Andrew and Spouse, just as they were About to sink, and thought that they were undone, Got safe on board the Percy--wind was fair, And the tight little boat, was on its way to London.
She soon arrived, of time there was no loss, The sailors rowed them quickly to the land And now, five miles at least from _Charing Cross_, Stood Andrew and his Spouse upon the _Strand_.
They hastened home, for home had many charms; Thither they went, and none could well go faster; For Andrew knew full well the Mason's _Arms_ Were always _open_ to receive their master.
They'd _seen_ enough of _sea_; and their immersion In the _salt-sea_ wave had pickled them so well, They never made another _sea_ excursion; And therefore _you see_! I've but little more to tell.