_The Sergeant._ Fall in! Fall in! Come smartly there, fall in And recollect that when you've fallen in You stand at ease, a ten-inch space between Your feet--like this; your hands behind your back-- Like this; your head and body both erect; Your weight well poised on both feet, not on one. Dress by the right, and let each rear rank man Quick cover off his special front rank man. That's it; that's good. Now when I say, "Squad, 'shun," Let every left heel swiftly join the right Without a shuffling or a scraping sound And let the angle of your two feet be Just forty-five, the while you smartly drop Hands to your sides, the fingers lightly bent, Thumbs to the front, but every careful thumb Kept well behind your trouser-seams. Squad, 'shun!
_The Volunteer._ Ha! Though I cannot find my trouser-seams, I rather think I did that pretty well. Thomas, my footman, who is on my left, And Batts, the draper, drilling on my right, And e'en the very Sergeant must have seen The lithe precision of my rapid spring.
_The Sergeant._ When next I call you to attention, note You need not slap your hands against your thighs. It is not right to slap your thighs at all.
_The Volunteer._ He's looking at me; I am half afraid I used unnecessary violence And slapped my thighs unduly. It is bad That Thomas should have cause to grin at me And lose his proper feeling of respect, Being a flighty fellow at the best; And Batts the draper must not----
_The Volunteer._ Aha! He wants to catch me, but he----
_The Volunteer._ Bravo, myself! I did not slap them then. I am indubitably getting on. I wonder if the Germans do these things, And what they sound like in the German tongue. The Germans are a----
_The Sergeant._ Sharply number off From right to left, and do not jerk your heads.
_The Volunteer._ I'm six, an even number, and must do The lion's share in forming fours. What luck For Batts, who's five, and Thomas, who is seven. They also serve, but only stand and wait, While I behind the portly form of Batts Insert myself and then slip out again Clear to the front, observing at the word The ordered sequence of my moving feet. Come let me brace myself and dare----
_The Volunteer._ I cannot see the Sergeant; I'm obscured Behind the acreage of Batts's back. Indeed it is a very noble back And would protect me if we charged in fours Against the Germans, but I rather think We charge two deep, and therefore----