His wife and mother‑in‑law were anxious that he should settle in Berwick, or its neighbourhood, where he might perhaps be allowed to reside peaceably, although in a more private way than formerly. To this proposal he does not seem to have been averse, provided he could have seen any prospect of his being able to support himself. Since the accession of queen Mary, the payment of the salary allotted him by government had been stopped. Indeed, he had not received any part of it for the last twelve months.[174] His father‑in‑law was abundantly able to give him a sufficient establishment; but Knox’s spirit could not brook the thought of being dependent on one who had treated him with coldness and disdain. Induced by the importunity of Mrs Bowes, he applied to her brother‑in‑law, Sir Robert Bowes, and attempted, by a candid explanation of all circumstances, to remove any umbrage which had been conceived against him by the family, and to procure an amicable settlement { 116} of the whole affair. The unfavourable issue of this interview was communicated by him in a letter to Mrs Bowes, of which the following is an extract:
“Dear mother, so may and will I call you, not only for the tender affection I bear unto you in Christ, but also for the motherly kindness ye have shewn unto me at all times since our first acquaintance; albeit such things as I have desired, (if it had pleased God,) and ye and others have long desired, are never like to come to pass, yet shall ye be sure that my love and care toward you shall never abate, so long as I can care for any earthly creature. Ye shall understand that this 6th of November, I spake with Sir Robert Bowes on the matter ye know, according to your request, whose disdainful, yea, despiteful words have so pierced my heart, that my life is bitter unto me. I bear a good countenance with a sore troubled heart; while he that ought to consider matters with a deep judgment is become not only a despiser, but also a taunter of God’s messengers. God be merciful unto him. Among other his most unpleasing words, while that I was about to have declared my part in the whole matter, he said, ‘Away with your rhetorical reasons, for I will not be persuaded with them.’ God knows I did use no rhetoric or coloured speech, but would have spoken the truth, and that in most simple manner. I am not a good orator in my own cause. But what he would not be content to hear of me, God shall declare to him one day to his displeasure, unless he repent. It is supposed that all the matter comes by you and me. I pray God { 117} that your conscience were quiet and at peace, and I regard not what country consume this my wicked carcase. And were it not that no man’s unthankfulness shall move me (God supporting my infirmity) to cease to do profit unto Christ’s congregation, those days should be few that England would give me bread. And I fear that, when all is done, I shall be driven to that end; for I cannot abide the disdainful hatred of those, of whom not only I thought I might have craved kindness, but also to whom God hath been by me more liberal than they be thankful. But so must men declare themselves. Affection does trouble me at this present; yet I doubt not to overcome by him, who will not leave comfortless his afflicted to the end, whose omnipotent spirit rest with you. Amen.”[175]