Pregnant women are often advised on what to eat and how to take care oftheir health to nurture their developing babies. But they are rarelyencouraged to get to know their unborn baby's personality. But nowcomes , a guide for expectant mothers who wantto bond with their babies long before they're born.
Long-timefriends Ame Mahler Beanland and Emily Miles Terry have a total of fivekids between them. Through their experiences, they say, they developeda new perspective on pregnancy.
"We recognized that once ourchildren were born that we knew a lot more about them from just beingpregnant than we actually thought," Terry says.
"It just got us talking about how much you really can have insights into those little personalities," adds Beanland.
Forexample, Terry says, her third child, Miles, was comfortable in thearms of his family members from his first day. Yet, when a strangerheld him, he'd scream. She says it seemed as if he was born alreadyknowing a lot about his world.
"We have a dog who barks loudly.My mother remarked, 'Isn't it nice that Miles doesn't wake up whenWillie barks?'" she recalls. "Without thinking I said, 'Well, he hasheard it before.' After those words popped out of my mouth, it made mestop and think about all the things that he had done and all myprevious pregnancies and how different they were from each other, and,yet, I'm the same mother. I think that pregnancies' symptoms,experiences are driven by the baby and the baby's different physicaland characteristics."
Since Terry and Beanland are writers andthey knew pregnant women often like to read books on pregnancy, theydecided to co-author a pregnancy guidebook, .
"Somany books out there focus on the process of pregnancy: what you shouldor shouldn't be doing. And there is a kind of cautionary or anxioustone to a lot of pregnancy books," she says. "We really wanted to writesomething that really delivers comfort and connection."
Theycollected dozens of stories by women who had paid attention to theirbabies' movements in the womb and linked that to their personalities.
"Thereis a story from a woman whose baby was incredibly calm and didn't movevery much," Beanland says. "She jokes about how there were just enoughkicks and flutters to keep her from panicking. The child today isincredibly calm and sort of likes to sit on a couch and read a book.She said, 'I knew without a doubt that I was having a couch-potato.'"
"Oneof the first responses that came in was the story of the footballkicker," Teryy adds. "This one is about a baby, when the mother waspregnant with the baby, he would kick her so hard in one particularspot. She would even have bruises. Now, I think he is in college. Hewas the kicker for his college football team."
The authors include scientific research that supports those anecdotal stories. Some of the findings were surprising, Terry says.
"Bythe 28th week in your pregnancy, the baby can taste, hear and see. Theycan make faces," she says. "They can cry. [They can do] so much of whatthey do outside of the womb after they are born. They are practicing. Ithink these days, we're given so much wonderful medical informationabout your baby, but it's also important to just sort of relax into theexperience and make your own observation."
Further evidence of aprenatal mother-child connection comes from study.Beanland explains that research shows infants recognize their mother'svoice shortly after birth and that their preference for their mother'svoice is based on prenatal memory.
"Basically, what the studydid was have a pregnant woman read by Dr. Seuss totheir bump for six weeks," she says. "In the last six weeks of thepregnancy, they read it twice a day. Then, very soon after birth, theyhad sort of a test where would be read maybe by astranger and maybe their mother voice reading a different book. Then itwould be like their mothers' voice reading the . Allthose audio recordings were connected to a pacifier-like contraption.What they realized is that babies could find the one that correspondedto their mom's voice reading."
The authors say pregnancy is nota burden or a phase where women wait, counting down to the bigbirthday. Rather, it's an exciting experience, and they offer expectantmothers some tips for relaxing, enjoying and connecting with theirbabies.
"You've got double the reason to be happy and take careof yourself because if Mommy is happy, baby is happy," Beanlandsays."[We suggest] going on date with your bump [baby] and kind ofchecking out the playground or exploring the places you're going totake your baby to once he or she gets here."
"Take a little time to appreciate this process," Terry adds.
